"There once was a girl who went back with a guy after a night out to have a bit of fun. In the morning, she snibbed the door and went to the loo where she took a massive shit. Blocking the toilet, she (strangely) decided to fish out the poo with a plastic bag (I really don´t understand this...I personally would have just run...). She then proceeded to carry the poo in the bag to find a bin. On her way to the bin she went back into the guy´s room to pick up her things and leave and also wrote him a wee note saying something like ´Thanks for last night. I had fun. Here´s my number´(this a very polite girl)! She left the note beside his bed whilst he was sleeping and left, unsnibbing the door. Now of course us ex-leazes folk will remember the big drama of locking yourself out your room if the door is left unsnibbed. (Too many funny images of students having to go down to reception in their towels after forgetting their keys). So anyway, as she left, she suddenly realised she had left her bag of shit beside the note! What a lovely ´reward´ for the ´lucky´guy to wake up to after a night of drunken sex."
SO, yes I told Andrew this (far too strange and unrealistic to be true) story or "myth" in the bar and the old couple literally looked at me like a piece of filth. As I said, I really know how to bring down the class in any situation. Andrew and I downed our drinks and left.
Woke up this morning feeling a little bit ropey, but thats nothing some Irn Bru imported from Edinburgh Airport at the weekend can´t solve! I bought two bottles at W H Smith...you know...the little 2 for such a price offer that you get there....and drank one on my flight and "saved" the other one for Liz, who is also Scottish and who I´m sure also misses the bru (who wouldn´t?!). However, when I´m hungover, my thoughts for others just fly completely out the window, so sorry Liz, you can wait another month until the beautiful bright orange soda hits your lips again!
I was on Skype to my friend Felicity yesterday who asked me a very important question. "Sarah, do you actually do anything cultural, you know, besides going to work and drinking?" So this is embarrassing, no I don´t Felicity. No I don´t. What is my life? Uni sends you to a foreign country to learn a language and some culture....I´m really failing at life right now. It also makes me laugh how uni gives you money to go (not that I have received it yet). Surely they must know what most of that money is spent on? a...l...c...o...h...o...l. Saying that, my friend Rosie made a very important purchase with her grant...a wee designer handbag! Seriously, only Rosie would do this...bloody model. Andrew was also telling me last night about someone he knows who literally got a nose job with hers! When in Rome right?
No comments:
Post a Comment