DAY 64: Las bebidas gratis

Well, this is great, I am sitting in work, stinking of alcohol with a horrendous headache. Everyone knows I am hungover, I have already been "told off" and eurgh I haven´t even had breakfast. Queiro morir! (I. want. to. die.).

So Sanderson and I went to a shop yesterday..."Los sabores del mundo"..."The flavours of the world"....purely to find one thing...IRN BRU. There really is nothing like it. It´s so expensive here but just so worth it (especially on days like today). I ended up spending 16 quid ...oopsies. They also sold Dairy Milk (another important purchase) and Smarties!! (I know what I´ll be doing this afternoon...). So after this (very important) trip, we decided to go for drinks and dinner. Strolling around Sol, trying to find the cheapest place for beer (of course) we were preyed upon by a promotor (of course). He took us to a bar where we each had a pint of (very strong) tequila sunrise for 3 euros. I really have only just remembered this and it definitely explains the goings on later in the night...

Dying for food, we ventured on to the restaurant where I have now been 3 times...parents, Liz and now Sanderson. They just love me there and of course we were conned into getting free drinks AGAIN. We arrived there about 7.30pm and they kept asking us to stay until 2am when they shut. We were so against this to begin with, but yes somehow time flew by (6 hours in a restaurant?!) and we both ended up hammered and going to the Irish pub next door with them....where we bought more drinks. In addition to this, there was a man selling funny glasses and hats etc outside and thinking it was hilarious, we bought some. I was going around this bar with pink flashing Minnie Mouse ears on.....We must have looked so stupid, made better by the fact that we were taking so many selfies (who doesn´t love a selfie?!). So these MEN we came if with, the waiters and two random fat bald guys separated us. It was a sad moment. Both clearly too drunk to notice, I was taken downstairs and Sarah was kept at the bar. Finally, we found each other and decided to run away (to McDonalds) and then to my apartment where we nom-ed and passed out.

I woke up this morning at 8.50 (10 minutes before work) when Sanderson suddenly said "Slaw, don´t you have work at 9?" Christ, what is wrong with me. I haven´t done this for a while now but clearly nothing has changed! However, I DID MAKE IT INTO WORK by 9.30am..just looking a bit "drab". Cannot wait til I finish. It is days like these I love just having a desk job. Poor Sanderson had to go and teach English to a bunch of 14 year olds.

So apart from that, I really have nothing else to say. Work´s the same, except for the new girl kind of annoys me...(I´ll rant another time) and I am really still pretty lazy. However, I have started walking to and from work every day, which is about 50 minutes each way...so that´s pretty healthy! It´s kind of embarrassing actually..I listen to the Nick Grimshaw Breakfast Show every morning on my way to work (brilliant show just brilliant) and I must look like such a freak because I am constantly laughing or smiling to myself about what´s being said....people must think I´m in love or just had sex or something. ANYWAY, yes that´s all for now. I´ve now been asked to "do some work" and I´ve already unimpressed them with my "antics" so best be off...ciao.

DAY 57: La Prostituta

Sometimes I feel like I´m a prostitute. Not because I ask people to pay me for sex (although that would come in handy given my current financial situation) but because when I go out for drinks I literally just stand around the streets waiting for someone to proposition me with flyers for free drinks. It sounds sad, and of course when I say this I´m not implying I do this alone, but it does actually work. So take last night for example, Andrew and I went out for some vino and got some free shots, some free drinks and a free shisha. We did, however,  have to pay for some of our drinks....what a pain :P. There´s this wine bar near Sol which gives you large glasses of wine for 1 euro a glass....so of course we ordered 2 each at the same time and poured one into another...we know how to play this game. Andrew and I also really know how to lower the class in any situation. There was a cute wee old British couple sitting in front of us who were obviously out to have a nice wee evening together. Without realising at first that they were in fact English, I started telling Andrew about a story I heard from Castle Leazes when I first arrived in Newcastle....I may as well repeat the story now for those of you who don´t know it:

"There once was a girl who went back with a guy after a night out to have a bit of fun. In the morning, she snibbed the door and went to the loo where she took a massive shit. Blocking the toilet, she (strangely) decided to fish out the poo with a plastic bag (I really don´t understand this...I personally would have just run...). She then proceeded to carry the poo in the bag to find a bin. On her way to the bin she went back into the guy´s room to pick up her things and leave and also wrote him a wee note saying something like ´Thanks for last night. I had fun. Here´s my number´(this a very polite girl)! She left the note beside his bed whilst he was sleeping and left, unsnibbing the door. Now of course us ex-leazes folk will remember the big drama of locking yourself out your room if the door is left unsnibbed. (Too many funny images of students having to go down to reception in their towels after forgetting their keys). So anyway, as she left, she suddenly realised she had left her bag of shit beside the note! What a lovely ´reward´ for the ´lucky´guy to wake up to after a night of drunken sex."

SO, yes I told Andrew this (far too strange and unrealistic to be true) story or "myth" in the bar and the old couple literally looked at me like a piece of filth. As I said, I really know how to bring down the class in any situation. Andrew and I downed our drinks and left.

Woke up this morning feeling a little bit ropey, but thats nothing some Irn Bru imported from Edinburgh Airport at the weekend can´t solve! I bought two bottles at W H Smith...you know...the little 2 for such a price offer that you get there....and drank one on my flight and "saved" the other one for Liz, who is also Scottish and who I´m sure also misses the bru (who wouldn´t?!). However, when I´m hungover, my thoughts for others just fly completely out the window, so sorry Liz, you can wait another month until the beautiful bright orange soda hits your lips again!

I was on Skype to my friend Felicity yesterday who asked me a very important question. "Sarah, do you actually do anything cultural, you know, besides going to work and drinking?" So this is embarrassing, no I don´t Felicity. No I don´t. What is my life? Uni sends you to a foreign country to learn a language and some culture....I´m really failing at life right now. It also makes me laugh how uni gives you money to go (not that I have received it yet). Surely they must know what most of that money is spent on? a...l...c...o...h...o...l. Saying that, my friend Rosie made a very important purchase with her grant...a wee designer handbag! Seriously, only Rosie would do this...bloody model. Andrew was also telling me last night about someone he knows who literally got a nose job with hers! When in Rome right?