DAY 231: Gracias Madrid

It only seems right that I end this blog in the hungover state in which I have written so many of these posts.

It was my work leaving party last night...or "despedida" as they call it here and I think everyone enjoyed one too many drinks. The 9 of us in the department went out for a lovely dinner to Mabel´s favourite restaurant, Makkila, and the amount of food that was ordered was ridiculous. In classic Spanish style, it all was all made to share, and we had croquettes, Spanish omelette, Spanish ham, bruschetta, pork, a goats cheese salad, spicy Spanish potatoes and lots more - all the food I love and am definitely going to miss. And of course with that all, we were all on the "cañas". A "caña" is a wee Spanish beer that everyone orders here. The guys were sweet enough to get me a wee leaving present as well, a photo of all of us in a beautiful frame, sweets and big card with lots of lovely comments signed by all of them, and of course I cried, which of course is now caught on camera. Cringe. Then I had to make a speech, which after a few beers and in a "fragile" state ended up being a complete mess. Anyway, we then headed on to a bar, after ditching the Big Boss who, (shhhh - no one really likes), and a many gin and tonic were ordered and the conversation moved on to sex, cocaine and Geordie Shore. Here it´s called "Gandía Shore". It´s fair to say that this morning, everyone is looking a little bit pale. 

So that´s it, my time in Spain has come to it´s end and I can´t quite believe it. Highlights - I don´t know, there are too many to choose from. The girls at work have been so lovely to me and I am really going to miss them all. Yes, there have been some days where I have had shit all to do, but generally I am kept reasonably busy - for Spanish standards anyway - and it is a fantastic experience to have. Events Management is definitely something I would be interested in doing in the future. The Spanish way of working life is damned relaxed and although in some senses this can be great - arriving into work late and no one caring, taking your time to do tasks, lots of coffee and fag breaks and a middle-day siesta - it also pinpoints the reason why the Spanish economy is so bad, and although I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here, it is sadly not where I want to live in the future. I think my department is special, we all get on so well and there is a sense of humour between us all, which is what made last night even more great. As Mabel said last night "I wish we all went out together more".

Of course there are also all my British and American friends I have made and I have good memories with them too. The number of pre-drinks I have hosted at my puny flat, having the neighbour complain far too many times, and the number of nights out finishing at 7am - is something I will never forget. Spanish nightlife is pretty crazy and it´s fair to say that everyone effectively dies the next day. Clubs in the UK are closed by the time people start going out here, and arriving back in daylight is something I wasn´t entirely used to. Kapital, Shoko, Joy Eslava, Starstudio, Space Monkey, Ocho y Medio - been to them all. Best nights, hmm, our St. Andrew´s day party where we all dressed up in tartan and painted the Scottish flag on ourselves, whilst Jared, a guy we all think is a bit of a "legend" turned up with his Ohio flag, not really understanding that it wasn´t just a "where you are from party". Any nights out with Andrew have been great, and very drunken - I blame him for all my chunders. The top one being a spontaneous Tuesday night out which ended up with us dancing on a bar, getting cava poured down our throats and people dressed up as LMFAO in their underwear dancing around the place. I have to also mention Oktoberfest which was absolutely brilliant. Cheesy music and some good old routines, whilst chugging litre glasses of beer and high fiving a terrible Elvis tribute act. I had my 21st birthday in Kapital, the 7 floor club which I absolutely love, but sadly I don´t remember much of that night. I´ve been told I was having a good time though as I ran up and down all the floors with no shoes on. Kapital the other weekend with Emily was pretty good as well, running away from creepy Spanish men and Emily telling a guy that he was a 5 after he asked her to rate him. 

With these friends I have also traveled around Spain, taking the party with us of course, and those weekends that we haven´t traveled we have found something else to do. Madrid has so much opportunity for that. The Retiro Park is genuinely one of my favourite places in the world, and generally Madrid is just a really beautiful city and always thriving.

Living on my own has been a challenge certainly and it definitely has advantages and disadvantages. I would, however, recommend it to anyone. There have been days where I have felt lonely and it is with that that you really have to push yourself to either meet up with people or do something productive. It´s good to keep busy. And there have been days where I guess I have had too much time alone with my thoughts, and I am a mahoosive overthinker, and this can really affect you, and make you feel sad, worked up, or even a little bit crazy. But, as I have mentioned before, there are advantages and generally I have loved it. It´s so relaxing and so free and as cheesy as it sounds, you learn a lot about yourself. 

The first blog I wrote was "La gordita inglesa" as I very much worried I would put on lots of weight here because of the Spanish food. Sorry to say, I have, I feel like a whale right now, but at the end of the day I have enjoyed myself and in a few days everything will be back to normality and back to a healthier lifestyle. People talk about the "Mediterranean Diet" and how healthy it is, but let me just say something, Spanish food is NOT healthy. EVERYTHING is fried, dripped in olive oil and salt and practically everything is full of carbs. Beers aren´t seen as alcoholic drinks here, it´s just the same as having a coke, and so you drink it whenever because seriously, that´s what they do.

My flight back to Edinburgh is on Sunday night and it is a weird feeling knowing that it is not a return. 2 hours left in this office, and I can feel that the tears are building up. 

Madrid, Spain - you have been fantastic. Te querré para siempre.

DAY 195: La Semana Santa Viene

So another 4 months down in Madrid and it´s time for my Easter holidays and I´m really looking forward to a relaxing week at home. Spain definitely has had both its fun times and hard times and the whole experience is something I will vividly remember.

If I think about work, I came out here terrified, and speaking Spanish all day every day was so intimidating. Luckily my Spanish has improved a lot but with Mabel speaking to me in English all the time, perhaps I should be better. I think the whole thing when learning a language though is confidence and the more you speak it, even if you do make mistakes, the more you will improve. Anyway, despite her always speaking English to me, I have to thank Mabel for a lot. She´s so kind and has always been so supportive of everything and she is a really fantastic businesswoman. On top of that of course we have the fact that she is bloody gorgeous. I know I´m not a lesbian but I definitely am attracted to her ha. Her boyfriend is a lucky lucky man! The rest of the team are lovely too and Mariangeles is another girl who I ´ve really appreciated here. She sits opposite me and we chat all the time (this time in Spanish)…mainly about Ryan Gosling! It´s been really nice sitting with her for the past 8 months and despite her being a good 15 years older, she´s really been a friend. We of course have the people I don´t like though, and for people who know me well, the list of people in this world who annoy me is probably far too high! But anyway, first we have Noelia. Noelia came about a month ago and she is an intern like me but a few years older. Anyway, if I´m going to be honest here, she just absolutely loves herself and I can see her judging me every day and she always makes snide wee comments which piss me off. She´s so patronizing as well and thinks I can´t speak Spanish so just doesn´t like talking to me. Almudena is another one, or “Almu” as she gets called, which I don´t know why cracks me up. She´s nice I guess but just very…very.. dull. Finally, we have the German girl, Alex. It´s very much a love-hate relationship. For an 18 year old she is very close-minded and judgemental and comes across quite rude, but at the same time I do go for coffee breaks with her a lot and today we got on ok so I haven´t closed my opinion completely on her yet. I think she´s just complicated to understand, plus I guess we are just very different people. Anyway, enough of that bitching and back to work – sometimes boring, sometimes difficult and sometimes enjoyable – the matter of the fact is though that it has been a very good and possibly rewarding experience for me.

When I come back after Easter I will hardly have anytime left here and I know I´m going to miss the friends I´ve made out here a lot. I don´t really socialize outside of my work with my colleagues but of course I will miss them too.  If I´m honest we have probably had too many nights out of drinking far too much, doing silly things, kissing boys and munching on McDonalds but that is part of what the year abroad is about, in my opinion (that´s coming from the view of clearly a drunken mess). And of course we have had fun travelling…..Valencia….Lisbon….Toledo….Salamanca… - I literally just want to travel all the time now!

It also took me a while to embrace the Spanish culture. First of all…they eat so bloody much! I still don´t understand how most of them stay so thin – I swear they are eating at every moment of the day whether it be a “snack” (although to me a sandwich is not a snack?) or a big 3 course meal…with of course lots of bread and litres and litres and litres of olive oil. Olive oil is literally put into every single food they have here. You see people buying 5 litre bottles of it in supermarkets and that’s just to get them through the week! I for one am looking like a plump pudding. In addition to that, it took me a while to get used to them eating so late. I have lunch at 3/3.30pm every day and I´ve been out for dinner with friends at midnight, which isn´t even unusual! Spanish timetabling is something else as well…it´s so relaxed and mightily inefficient – the amount of times I have complained about at it this year has led me to write my assessed university essay on the year abroad this year about it. We also have the culture of the men, the very pervy, very sleazy, very sexist men. In clubs they want to grab you at any chance they get, so much so that two of my girl friends have ended up punching men in the face, and I´ve left the club fuming ranting my traditional “I hate men” speech. In the streets they yell at you and ask you to sleep with them and the sad thing is, that you just kind of have to get used to it!

However, as much as I do complain about things though, and I do like to complain, Madrid is a great city. The madrileños are incredibly friendly and welcoming people and the city is beautiful and always thriving. It feels like a city that never sleeps and everything is also all so cheap (apart from make-up…almost every British girl I know here really misses Boots). I can´t really complain about the weather here either – blue skies and well today, its 27 degrees. Of course I am sunburnt, and of course the Spanish are still going round in their unfashionable polo-necks!

Anyway that´s me off for just over a week. A nice big lunch with Sanderson after work today to celebrate and then Newcastle tomorrow followed by HOME. Here´s to my final stint in Madrid after Easter!! Not much longer to go!!!

DAY 139: Pedro

I had started to think that beautiful Pedro from when I first came to Madrid had forgotten me! I saw him when I first came and since then hardly ever. However, today as I was working on some boring excel with my ears completely blocked by blasting music from my headphones, Pedro appeared, beautiful beautiful Pedro, and naturally, I went all red. Either it´s the fact that he is just so handsome or my difficulty in understanding sexy Spanish accent, but literally my mind always fails me when I speak to him and he now thinks I´m a retard who still can´t speak Spanish after 5 months here. Anyway, being all charming (it is Valentine´s day after all ;) ), he invited me for dinner with him and his family. How lovely and very kind, but also, how awkward....let´s just say..things with his nephew, Alvaro, the fittie Hollister model from a while ago, did not end so well....*cough* asshole *cough*.  After Pedro left, you could see all the other girls giggling and smiling and then they all came up to me and asked "who is that Sarah?"...yes beautiful, beautiful Pedro is still well and truly "smokin hawt".

So I did something I hadn´t done in a while yesterday...I slept in through work! I thought those days were past me now that I am a mature 21-year-old, but sadly no. I knew I shouldn´t have been going out on Wednesday night in the first place but it was Sanderson´s friend´s last night in Madrid so something had to take place. Fair to say, the night did not end up so smoothly though....my neighbour now literally hates me and was buzzing on my door all day yesterday (of which I never answered because I´m too scared), I got into an argument, got punched, failed to make it to the club, got a taxi home which I couldn´t pay for and called my friend back home crying my eyes out...total mess. It´s times like that I just think, wow I´m an idiot, and that it really is time to cut back on the alcohol consumption. Saying that, I am going out tonight BUT I aim to just drink some beers...(come on, not not going to drink at all..).

So apart from a cheeky wee day off yesterday work has been pretty dire this week. My life is filled with boring databases and excels at the moment and the highlight this week, as always, has been getting the left over food from events - fat pig here. I´ve tried to be healthy, I really have, and I managed it up until Wednesday, but when Thursday came and that hangover was bangin, salad just wasn´t going to suffice.

Thank God it´s Friday though, and I plan on being a little more chillaxed this weekend. Also I´ve been thinking about the fact that if I hadn´t extended my job until June, this would be my last day, which just seems crazy. I don´t want to leave - I love it here! Viva Madrid.

DAY 61: La Puta de la Oficina

Still at work! My first "full" Spanish working day. They work until 7pm waaah. (However, did get a nice big lunch in the cafe followed by some sunbathing outside the office with a few of the girls...so so Spanish!). It has been so busy up until now and I am pretty damn proud of myself. I was given a task on Friday to be completed today and it was quite technical and important because the big bosses would be reading it. Anyway I got it all done and Mabel checked it over and apparently I did a "fantastic job" #gome. The new girl didn´t help though. I´m becoming such a wee office bitch. We were initially meant to split the task but then she did it all wrong and I had to go over and correct it all...I mean geeeesss....it´s almost as if I have never been in that position.....

I can´t believe I´ve been here two months now! Cray cray. Time is flying by. And to think when I first came I literally hated this job and couldn´t do anything right....things have changed so much. I´ve also now been able to extend my job until June next year! So so so sooooo happy! Initially, I only had it until February and then I had to go and find another job elsewhere, which is pretty tricky in the current Spanish economy, especially without "Daddy" as a contact...

So the weekend was fun, and for once I wasn´t out getting shitfaced. I´ve been quite embarrassed lately as two people over the past week have both said that I am "like a child". So there´s my friend from uni who said I always just talk about "embarrassing myself when drunk" (which is true...) and then my friend here who said that I sing and get hyper too much. After years of thinking I was "older than my years", I´ve discovered that I really am just an immature 20-year-old...I have two months until I should probably start "growing up". ANYWAY, Liz and  I went shopping on Friday evening (that´s right, after complaining for two months about how I am so broke and going to be homeless soon, MY ERASMUS GRANT CAME THROUGH and I actually just feel so bloody rich!.....Bets on how long it lasts...2 weeks?) So yeah we went shopping and I bought a jacket, a t-shirt (in the sale at least) and lots of jewellery (and only cheap crap that makes my fingers green...would you really trust me with an 100 pound necklace...err no. (There are no pound signs available on a Spanish keyboard btw fyi). We then had a gorgeous dinner in a nice wee Spanish restaurant where I took my parents when they came. After finishing our meal and asking for our bill though, the charming waiter did not want us to leave, so invited us to a free glass of wine (I´m just irresistible, I know). After thaaaat, we then asked for the bill again when we were then offered a free shot. We gracefully declined (see, that´s me, growing up...). It was pretty evident they were trying to get us drunk.

In hysterics, Liz and I got the metro back to my flat where I just "tipsy-ly" sang and danced for her. She is a lucky girl eh? But the wine had kicked in making us sleepy by this point and so bed it was. I have a bit of a problem with wine. If I drink too much of it, I just don´t sleep well. So I slept for about 3 hours before waking up at 3am, amusing myself with Liz´s sleep-talking. It was this at this point, I decided to put on ma pod and have a wee boogie in the bed, waking Liz up with all my bootaaay-shaking. It was very strange, I literally felt like I was high or something. SO WIDE AWAKE. So this continued until 7am - not all "dance-floor fillers", I also went through an emotional I HATE MY LOVE LIFE phase with Adele and (this is cringe but, Demi Lovato)...and then through my "chill" playlist until I could finally feel myself getting tired. 

We went to Toledo the next day which is the old capital of Spain and it was really beautiful. There were cathedrals and a mosque and we even got to see the start of a Spanish wedding, which was pretty cool - not sure the bride was too happy with us gate-crashing though! By the end of the afternoon, however, we had gotten pretty bored, that was enough culture (and walking for the day). It was then back to Alcala for a night of X Factor viewing and movies.

Cristina made me YET ANOTHER fabulous lunch yesterday. I´m not really sure what it was but there was a meat in it that tasted a little bit like black pudding....nom..

I don´t have any plans this week :( However, I guess that is very Spanish and so I´m hoping something "spontaneous" will come up. Apart from that, might be planning a wee flat party. Show everyone my "pad". Or as my friends here call it, my "lad pad" because you know....just bring back sooooo many men don´t I.....naaaat. As I said to my brother drunkenly on Facebook about two weeks ago "I am not a slut Pat! Don´t worry your little sister is not a slut!"....rambling on....I don´t know why....about some "goings-on" in first year....oh dear Sarah, oh dear.

DAY 57: La Prostituta

Sometimes I feel like I´m a prostitute. Not because I ask people to pay me for sex (although that would come in handy given my current financial situation) but because when I go out for drinks I literally just stand around the streets waiting for someone to proposition me with flyers for free drinks. It sounds sad, and of course when I say this I´m not implying I do this alone, but it does actually work. So take last night for example, Andrew and I went out for some vino and got some free shots, some free drinks and a free shisha. We did, however,  have to pay for some of our drinks....what a pain :P. There´s this wine bar near Sol which gives you large glasses of wine for 1 euro a glass....so of course we ordered 2 each at the same time and poured one into another...we know how to play this game. Andrew and I also really know how to lower the class in any situation. There was a cute wee old British couple sitting in front of us who were obviously out to have a nice wee evening together. Without realising at first that they were in fact English, I started telling Andrew about a story I heard from Castle Leazes when I first arrived in Newcastle....I may as well repeat the story now for those of you who don´t know it:

"There once was a girl who went back with a guy after a night out to have a bit of fun. In the morning, she snibbed the door and went to the loo where she took a massive shit. Blocking the toilet, she (strangely) decided to fish out the poo with a plastic bag (I really don´t understand this...I personally would have just run...). She then proceeded to carry the poo in the bag to find a bin. On her way to the bin she went back into the guy´s room to pick up her things and leave and also wrote him a wee note saying something like ´Thanks for last night. I had fun. Here´s my number´(this a very polite girl)! She left the note beside his bed whilst he was sleeping and left, unsnibbing the door. Now of course us ex-leazes folk will remember the big drama of locking yourself out your room if the door is left unsnibbed. (Too many funny images of students having to go down to reception in their towels after forgetting their keys). So anyway, as she left, she suddenly realised she had left her bag of shit beside the note! What a lovely ´reward´ for the ´lucky´guy to wake up to after a night of drunken sex."

SO, yes I told Andrew this (far too strange and unrealistic to be true) story or "myth" in the bar and the old couple literally looked at me like a piece of filth. As I said, I really know how to bring down the class in any situation. Andrew and I downed our drinks and left.

Woke up this morning feeling a little bit ropey, but thats nothing some Irn Bru imported from Edinburgh Airport at the weekend can´t solve! I bought two bottles at W H Smith...you know...the little 2 for such a price offer that you get there....and drank one on my flight and "saved" the other one for Liz, who is also Scottish and who I´m sure also misses the bru (who wouldn´t?!). However, when I´m hungover, my thoughts for others just fly completely out the window, so sorry Liz, you can wait another month until the beautiful bright orange soda hits your lips again!

I was on Skype to my friend Felicity yesterday who asked me a very important question. "Sarah, do you actually do anything cultural, you know, besides going to work and drinking?" So this is embarrassing, no I don´t Felicity. No I don´t. What is my life? Uni sends you to a foreign country to learn a language and some culture....I´m really failing at life right now. It also makes me laugh how uni gives you money to go (not that I have received it yet). Surely they must know what most of that money is spent on? a...l...c...o...h...o...l. Saying that, my friend Rosie made a very important purchase with her grant...a wee designer handbag! Seriously, only Rosie would do this...bloody model. Andrew was also telling me last night about someone he knows who literally got a nose job with hers! When in Rome right?

DAY 56: SCOTLAND

A few weeks ago I would have said that if I went home mid-way, I probably wouldn´t want to come back...however, I really do love it here so all is good. Home was nice though and I literally stuffed my face with roast pork, lasagne and whatever else Mother Hen had cooked for me....I think she secretly wants an obese child...It was a pretty chilled weekend with lots of cuddles from my lovely doggy and just a tad of shopping. I say "just a tad"...I now have no money. I thought my Erasmus Grant would come through yesterday....but it hasn´t...#financiallyfucked.

So I got back today and there was a girl sitting in my desk. I´m sorry, WHAT. Been here 2 months now..I have established my working area bitch. She´s the now new girl and was offered my desk, so now I´m sitting opposite her, hidden by a closet next to me so no one can see me...don´t know if that´s good or bad. Plus side, I can go on Facebook more easily (and write stupid stuff like this), but then it also now means I´m a complete loner. Geeees, just as I was starting to make ´work friends´....oh well. 

Not sure what plans are for this week apart from another party with the insurance lot, the crazy crew. You would never think people working in insurance would be that fun...I take that from my Dad who works in that sector....although saying that, he did get pissed on Saturday afternoon going to a football match with his uni mates ... "The Reekers" they call themselves...and then had to go to a dinner party afterwards, of which Judith (mother) was not impressed. Anyway yeah, drinks with them and then think I´m going to see the stage show of "The Lion King" in Spanish lol....love a wee a musical. 

Diet has started, bought a shit load of salad yesterday. However, I have decided not to count alcohol as let´s be honest, that´s not going to happen. 

Here´s to the next 6 weeks!

DAY 41: La Lesbiana

You wouldn´t think it, but the insurance lot really are so funny. I work in Marketing so I don´t actually work with them, which is probably quite good seeing as I tend to make a tit out of myself most of the time I´m with them. Just speaking to a girl named Marta on the internal office chat, who I met on Friday night , I go "Yeah I always feel so stupid when I´m around you guys," she replies "No. We are a curious group because all of us work in the financial world in the Big 4, investment banks or doing a phd related to this....freaks. We work hard in very stressful jobs and that´s why we drink and smoke more than what is recommended, it is our way out, and after the first shisha and a few beers later, we have the IQ of a chicken." It made me laugh. She´s cute. She really is a funny character actually. On Friday she was telling me about how it doesn´t matter if you have sex with someone ugly because you can just turn the lights off and imagine someone else! She said she was joking when she said she imagines Pedro (remember BEAUTIFUL Pedro the big boss man from the first week) when having sex with her boyfriend, but I don´t actually think she was.... Anyway, on Friday night it was Tono´s farewell party and my classiness was truly thrown out the window. I didn´t think I had drunk that much when all of a sudden I started feeling sick. However, I was still "aware of what I was doing" let´s just say, and so I took this moment to go to the bathroom and tactically...you know what. I´m a grim person. However, it worked, I could continue on drinking and the next day, I DIDN´T HAVE A HANGOVER! Fabz fabz fabz. I´m sure I don´t give off a very good impression on these blogs but I don´t really care, I´m 20, Scottish and in Spain.... 

I went to Alacalá on Saturday and vegged out with Liz in front of several "fantastic" films. The first being, The Bling Ring, would recommend but is kind of weird and can´t believe it´s a true story. The second, Despicable Me 2, although sadly we didn´t get to see the end because of stupid streaming sites. The third one was, The Hunchback of Notre Damn. I don´t even remember watching it as a child but I don´t think it should be classed as children´s film....it´s so mean. Poor wee Quazimodo! What´s also embarrassing, is that I actually thought it was a true story up until that point, when I told Liz and she just looked at me like "what you on about?". That night, Liz really got lucky. We were sharing her bed and she said that 80% of the night I was trying to spoon her in my sleep and kept putting my leg over her as though she was my boyfriennd. Clearly my subconscious is telling me something....I´m sure she enjoyed it though...I mean who wouldn´t, I´m a very sexy person..... :/ There was also one point where somehow all the duvet and sheet was wrapped around me and I was trapped for about 5 minutes like a sauasage trying to unravel myself. It was quite a scary experience. I probably just shouldn´t share bed with people. Should probs just become a nun.

On Sunday, Sanderson came round and yet again Cristina cooked us all a lovely lunch, with lots of wine and sex chat of course. Cristina really does make me laugh, on the one side she is motherly and caring and on the other side she is just a hilarious and horny woman. I do love her a little bit. We then all went to smoke some shisha in a cool wee hippie café. We were all so relaxed when leaving that I just couldn´t be bothered getting back on the train.

I had to sit in on a 3 hour long conference today on the exciting topic of Taxes...life today was riveting.

DAY 19: Alcala

It's quite reassuring when a Spanish person asks you for directions. It's especially satisfying when you know exactly where they need to go and you can say it in Spanish. Get in Slaw!

If I cancel out Friday (my day of rest), in which I slobbed in my pyjamas and watched shit tv all day 'recovering' from the night before, I had a pretty good weekend. Surprisingly today, my boss didn't mind that I had missed work. My lie of being ill was so obvious but yet no comment was made - phew! If you think about it, I was actually ill, it was just my immature self that had made me that way....sangria...whisky....beer...gin.....ANYWAY, on Saturday I went to Sol to try and find a bank. Nope still don't have a bank account, and nope, there were no banks open. Really don't know what I'm going to do :/. So as I was strolling through Sol, across the road I saw this couple who I recognised. I had to double-take because it would be so random that they would be in Madrid this time of year and that I would bump into them, but it was them, it was my friend Fee's parents. I ran over to them and I have to say it was quite comformting having someone I actually knew in Madrid, and they took me for a coffee which was really nice. After that, Lara and I went shopping and found our new favourite shop, Pimkie. It's such good value for such nice clothes. Saying that, I went into the changing room with about 10 items and came out with 2 - I am so hard to please, I never like things on me! Plus, bank balance really isn't too healthy at the moment what with being an unpaid intern! Anyway, got myself a wee jumper and a sort of kimono thing, really don't know if that's cool or not? That's me, trying to be 'edgy' and all that...

I wish I was at San. Bernabeu on Saturday night to watch the Atletico v Real game. I only live 5 minutes away!!! I ended up watching it in a bar anyway with Alvaro, which was still good fun. However, I do have to admit, I am one of those girls who pretends she is into football when really she has no idea what is going on....so....I always say I support Liverpool, just because my Dad and brother do - Stevie G right?! - and on Saturday with Alvaro he asked me who I was supporting, and I just go 'oh yeah I follow Real Madrid'. Excuse me, you 'follow Real Madrid' Sarah?! Name any of their recent matches. The only thing I can say is, I know who Christian Bale is....oops....Gareth I mean!..Gareth Bale! :P Anyway, as an Atleti fan, Alvaro was not too impressed, but it was fun even still.

On Sunday I got the train to Alacala de Henares, which is a cute wee town 40 minutes north of Madrid. There I met a new friend, Liz, who is friends with someone I know from home. Small small world! I had a really nice afternoon with her and the Spanish lady who she lives with, who is really kind of crazy. She seemed to love talking about sex (fits perfectly with me ;) ) and she was teaching us all these dirty phrases...how useful! She also made this A-M-A-Z-I-N-G lunch and I was so so full afterwards. It got to about 5pm and I realised I was fairly tipsy as well what with all the wine and beer she supplying me with - I just find it too hard to say no! Later that day, I met up with Sophie, who is trying to find an apartment there. We went for a few drinks with her friends before it was time for me to really think about going home, what with bloody work the next day!

So here I am in my wee apartment, and it is absolutely pouring outside - I did not ask for this - I moved AWAY from Scotland! Not sure what plans I have this week but no doubt it will include cerveza, cigarillos, baile, duermo, divertido y un poco más sol!!! (For you non-linguists: BEER, CIGARETTES, DANCING, SLEEP, FUN and A LITTLE MORE SUNSHINE) ;)

DAY 16: La Ley

I woke up this morning in my bra and tights, contacts still in making me half blind and make up still on. There was a half eaten bowl of pasta next to me and all the lights were on. I looked at my watch, it said 12pm and I honestly thought it was just broken. So then I looked at my phone and nope, it was 12pm - I had missed work!

So last night I was invited out for drinks with some of the office people. I really didn't want to go. I just imagined a bunch of older accountants having a couple of beers and being home before 12. With what I just described to you as my morning, clearly, I was wrong! I met Isabel and a couple of others at the metro stop and we walked to this nearby bar where everyone was wearing nice dresses and heels .... I was in a blue shirt and denim shorts (which I have somehow ripped). Anyway, the alcohol was free and I was very shy and nervous, so there was really no other option than to drink a lot. Everyone talked to me in English, probably not the point of me being here but hey, and they wanted to know all about the UK and how it's different to Spain. I then got onto a conversation about the differences between Spanish boys and English boys and Spanish girls and English girls. So this guy said to me 'This is how we perceive the British. You will agree with what I say about boys but you will get angry with what I say about the girls.' I nudged him on. 'English boys are...how you say.....assholes?' I agreed. 'And well erm, English girls, I think the word is...easy?' I laughed. 'You're not angry?' he said. 'Not at all. It's true.' And so there we go first impression made, I'm a slag. 

So after a couple of beers, a couple of sangrias, and a treble gin and tonic (yeah it's not just Newcastle folks ;) ), Fernando, crazy crazy Fernando ordered 5 shots of whisky and says to me. 'You're Scottish. You've got to show us how it's done.' Christ. I thought he was meaning I had to do all the shots! Luckily not, they were for other people as well. That did not go down well. 

We were in this bar until about 2am (early in Spain), drinking, smoking inside, dancing, eating...it was so much fun, and everyone was trying to teach me Spanish swearwords. Fernando, crazy crazy Fernando, told me that if I wanted to say that I'm drunk, I can use the word 'mamoda' (I think). However, this has two meanings, the first being 'I'm drunk' like he said, and the second, the meaning he did not to tell me, was basically 'I want to blow you'. Great. So as I said it to people I got a lot of looks like 'alright calm down you Scottish slag' until I was finally told otherwise!

We headed to a club around 2.30am which was really good fun and it was at this point I just became a total mess. It's that moment in the night where just don't care how stupid you look. I was jumping on people, stealing people's hats, taking photos and apparently...sending my friends snapchats of me on the toilet?? I really know how to stay classy. Suddenly it was 5.30am and it was time to go. We all walked out, which at this point I realised all the girls I was hanging with had gone, and it was just me and the boys. Anyway, I really don't know how this happened but I got into a political debate with this guy about the UK and Spain. I say political debate but it was really just him winding me up well with me drunkenly yelling 'yeah but you're country is in so much shit, the UK rule all'. What an embarrassment! I forget sometimes how angry I can get when I'm drunk...some of you will know this all too well! The argument eventually ended after I realised he was just taking the piss out of me and we ended up hugging being like 'I LOVE YOOOOOU'. Typical. 

I remember coming home at 6am and laughing so much and practially talking to myself going 'ah I have an hour to sleep. Hehehe. I'm so naughty. Hehehe.' Now I swear I set my alarm...but erm, clearly I was far too pissed. SO my boss is going to be happy on Monday.....

Oh, and I better mention, I called this blog 'La Ley' because that is what they have all started calling me. It means Law in Spanish. I quite liked it, because because I was 'the law', everyone had to play by my rules...which means, next time I go out with Fernando, he has promised to wear a skirt to represent a true Scotsman ;) yeah buddy.

DAY 8: La Mierda

Being a Scot, it´s understandable I find the heat here difficult. That is why last night my stomach was tossing and turning for hours whilst I huddled over my toilet. How grim. I blame dehydration and my habit of drinking beer instead of water. However, it could also have been the ´tuna´empanadilla I had at lunch...tuna is meant to be red, right? I was so gutted as well. I had been invited out for drinks with some Erasmus people that night, MY FIRST FIESTA IN SPAIN!!! Instead, I lay in the fetal position in bed, watching a partiuclar home comfort of mine, The Great British Bake-Off. Moving on from that, I feel so much better today and I am even considering going out for drinks tonight - you can take the girl out of Scotland...

The past two days at work have been just a little bit better. I emailed a Madrileño from the office in London who I met this summer and asked her if she could "hook me up" with anyone in the office here. I met Laura, a lovely, younger, Spanish girl who said that she will show me around the city. It´s been with this that I´ve been thinking how important it is to push yourself in these situations. You need to ask people about things and express when you´re unhappy. Otherwise, like before, you could just end up sitting at a desk all day doing nada.

The boss still isn´t great though. However, I did get some slight satisfaction over her the other day. As I implied previously, she´s one of these people who is quite up on her high horse. As I went to the office loo and waited as the cubicles were all full, my boss then appeared out of one. Seeing me there waiting, an embarrassed expression spread across her face - that's right, she had done both a stinker and a floater! 1 - up- slaw. Don't look at me like shit babe if I have to look at yours. And oh, I waited until another cubicle was free...faeces makes me gag.

DAY 5: La Fashionista

Spanish exchanges who came to our school were always memorable for dressing poorly. They would arrive with their polo-necks, baggy jeans and rucksacks, whilst us girls, at the age of 14, would be wearing uggs, skinny jeans and a tighter-fitting top to highlight our then AA-cup breasts. I guess I assumed that the exchanges just hadn’t grown into what we saw as ‘fashion’, however, seeing the women in the office on my first day of work, I think maybe poor dress sense is a Spanish thing. Middle-aged women dressed in floral dresses that were all too short for their older bodies to pull off, combining that with make-up that looked like they hadn’t taken off since the 80’s. I arrived, business chic, being the ‘sexy businesswomen’ I had always wanted to be. There I was in my tight black pencil skirt, peplum top (highlighting my now D-cup breasts) and ‘office’ stilettos, looking more like I was going out for drinks than a day in the office. Maybe acceptable in London, but here, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

If I’m honest, my first day at work was crap. That’s the only way to put it. My boss, Raquel, looked at me like a piece of shit and told me to unpack her boxes into her new desk. As I stumbled around in my heels and tight skirt unloading these many crates, I thought to myself ‘Is this really a marketing internship? No’. So after my first day, I am referring to her as the ‘office bitch’, but hopefully this will change over time.

DAY 4: La Gordita Inglesa

How Spaniards stay so slim and yet eat so much baffles me. It’s fair to say that by the end of my trip here I will no doubt be “una gordita inglesa”, somehow a compliment in Spain, it actually means “fat little English girl”. At every bar or café that I’ve been to so far, they will give you any free food just to accompany your drink. I’m talking small things like olives, crisps and peanuts, to larger plates like the English favourite, cheesy chips. It’s hard to avoid all this as well. Every second shop is a café (which also all serve as beer houses at the same time). It doesn’t help either that the alcohol is so cheap – 1 euro for a pint and 6 euros for a jug of sangria. Known as a bit of a ‘heavy drinker’ in Newcastle, or more commonly just a ‘mess’ – I think I’ll be pretty happy here!

So I came to Madrid with my parents, which was really just the comfort I needed to settle in with, but, as you would imagine, parents can’t last long without having their embarrassing moments. Firstly, we have my dad, referring to ‘la cuenta’ (the bill) at every restaurant as ‘la CUNT-a’, purely because he finds it funny to say to the non-English speaking waiter. Dad, you’re in your fiftees. Then we have my mum, practising her Spanish at every given opportunity. Mum maintains she has acquired Portuguese language skills from our holidays there and likes to mix it up with her ‘o-level’ French. With these ‘skills’ she has, she says she can understand everything. Mum, I’ve been studying Spanish since I was 14, if I am getting a 2:2 in Spanish at university, I doubt your education in the French language from when you were 15 is going to make you a fluent Spanish speaker. Anyway, it has been nice having them here none-the-less!

With my parents here, of course we had to do the standard touristy and cultural things – this included two museums. I have never had an interest in any museum in any country, however, there were two particular paintings that stuck out. The first was in El Prado – a woman who naturally turned into a man at the age of 37 but still had one boob left so that she could breast-feed her child. It was disturbing to say the least. The second was from La Reina Sofía – don’t ask me who drew it or what it’s called because honestly it really doesn’t interest me – but, this guy had painted a self-portrait of himself dying in a car crash. In order for the painting to sell, he then killed himself…in a car crash…which subsequently would earn money for his family…bit drastic love.

Now I’m here on my own in my little studio apartment (which I love). Scared shitless but with Marlboro Lights selling for 3 euros a 20-pack to calm my nerves, 4 bolts on my apartment door to keep me from getting burgled and a trusty rape alarm I got when I was 13 that is meant to help when I am actually in the midst of getting raped... (really?)...I’m hoping I’ll be ok.