DAY 231: Gracias Madrid

It only seems right that I end this blog in the hungover state in which I have written so many of these posts.

It was my work leaving party last night...or "despedida" as they call it here and I think everyone enjoyed one too many drinks. The 9 of us in the department went out for a lovely dinner to Mabel´s favourite restaurant, Makkila, and the amount of food that was ordered was ridiculous. In classic Spanish style, it all was all made to share, and we had croquettes, Spanish omelette, Spanish ham, bruschetta, pork, a goats cheese salad, spicy Spanish potatoes and lots more - all the food I love and am definitely going to miss. And of course with that all, we were all on the "cañas". A "caña" is a wee Spanish beer that everyone orders here. The guys were sweet enough to get me a wee leaving present as well, a photo of all of us in a beautiful frame, sweets and big card with lots of lovely comments signed by all of them, and of course I cried, which of course is now caught on camera. Cringe. Then I had to make a speech, which after a few beers and in a "fragile" state ended up being a complete mess. Anyway, we then headed on to a bar, after ditching the Big Boss who, (shhhh - no one really likes), and a many gin and tonic were ordered and the conversation moved on to sex, cocaine and Geordie Shore. Here it´s called "Gandía Shore". It´s fair to say that this morning, everyone is looking a little bit pale. 

So that´s it, my time in Spain has come to it´s end and I can´t quite believe it. Highlights - I don´t know, there are too many to choose from. The girls at work have been so lovely to me and I am really going to miss them all. Yes, there have been some days where I have had shit all to do, but generally I am kept reasonably busy - for Spanish standards anyway - and it is a fantastic experience to have. Events Management is definitely something I would be interested in doing in the future. The Spanish way of working life is damned relaxed and although in some senses this can be great - arriving into work late and no one caring, taking your time to do tasks, lots of coffee and fag breaks and a middle-day siesta - it also pinpoints the reason why the Spanish economy is so bad, and although I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here, it is sadly not where I want to live in the future. I think my department is special, we all get on so well and there is a sense of humour between us all, which is what made last night even more great. As Mabel said last night "I wish we all went out together more".

Of course there are also all my British and American friends I have made and I have good memories with them too. The number of pre-drinks I have hosted at my puny flat, having the neighbour complain far too many times, and the number of nights out finishing at 7am - is something I will never forget. Spanish nightlife is pretty crazy and it´s fair to say that everyone effectively dies the next day. Clubs in the UK are closed by the time people start going out here, and arriving back in daylight is something I wasn´t entirely used to. Kapital, Shoko, Joy Eslava, Starstudio, Space Monkey, Ocho y Medio - been to them all. Best nights, hmm, our St. Andrew´s day party where we all dressed up in tartan and painted the Scottish flag on ourselves, whilst Jared, a guy we all think is a bit of a "legend" turned up with his Ohio flag, not really understanding that it wasn´t just a "where you are from party". Any nights out with Andrew have been great, and very drunken - I blame him for all my chunders. The top one being a spontaneous Tuesday night out which ended up with us dancing on a bar, getting cava poured down our throats and people dressed up as LMFAO in their underwear dancing around the place. I have to also mention Oktoberfest which was absolutely brilliant. Cheesy music and some good old routines, whilst chugging litre glasses of beer and high fiving a terrible Elvis tribute act. I had my 21st birthday in Kapital, the 7 floor club which I absolutely love, but sadly I don´t remember much of that night. I´ve been told I was having a good time though as I ran up and down all the floors with no shoes on. Kapital the other weekend with Emily was pretty good as well, running away from creepy Spanish men and Emily telling a guy that he was a 5 after he asked her to rate him. 

With these friends I have also traveled around Spain, taking the party with us of course, and those weekends that we haven´t traveled we have found something else to do. Madrid has so much opportunity for that. The Retiro Park is genuinely one of my favourite places in the world, and generally Madrid is just a really beautiful city and always thriving.

Living on my own has been a challenge certainly and it definitely has advantages and disadvantages. I would, however, recommend it to anyone. There have been days where I have felt lonely and it is with that that you really have to push yourself to either meet up with people or do something productive. It´s good to keep busy. And there have been days where I guess I have had too much time alone with my thoughts, and I am a mahoosive overthinker, and this can really affect you, and make you feel sad, worked up, or even a little bit crazy. But, as I have mentioned before, there are advantages and generally I have loved it. It´s so relaxing and so free and as cheesy as it sounds, you learn a lot about yourself. 

The first blog I wrote was "La gordita inglesa" as I very much worried I would put on lots of weight here because of the Spanish food. Sorry to say, I have, I feel like a whale right now, but at the end of the day I have enjoyed myself and in a few days everything will be back to normality and back to a healthier lifestyle. People talk about the "Mediterranean Diet" and how healthy it is, but let me just say something, Spanish food is NOT healthy. EVERYTHING is fried, dripped in olive oil and salt and practically everything is full of carbs. Beers aren´t seen as alcoholic drinks here, it´s just the same as having a coke, and so you drink it whenever because seriously, that´s what they do.

My flight back to Edinburgh is on Sunday night and it is a weird feeling knowing that it is not a return. 2 hours left in this office, and I can feel that the tears are building up. 

Madrid, Spain - you have been fantastic. Te querré para siempre.

DAY 213: Me meaban los perros

The past couple of weeks have been fairly "normal" ones in Madrid. We had a bank holiday, yet again, on Thursday, so I was out for drinks on Wednesday night with a few friends....aiming to get the last metro home at 1.30am but instead arriving home 4.30am....my bank holiday was spent in bed watching Harry Potter. Last Friday it was Emma´s birthday, a big flat party eventually shut down after a neighbour called the police followed by a night out at Ocho y Medio Club...which if I´m honest is all a bit of blur, but apparently I was being very "loving" which I guess is better than my classic angry Sarah drunkeness. This most recent friday we went to Shoko but bailed quite early due to the lack of good music. When I say early, I mean 4.30am....this is Spain after all. On Saturday I went to Alcala and watched "Tangled" with Liz and Leo for I think the third time this month....such a loser....but such a great film...and then yesterday I met up with my friend, Emily, from Germany, who has just arrived in Madrid for univeristy after doing her Erasmus year in Paris. We drank A LOT of sangria...the jug seemed to be bottomless...and then chilled in the Retiro park with Liz and Lorena, where I happily indulged in an afternoon tipsy siesta on the grass in the sunshine. That was soon followed by yet more booze with a couple of beers with some good old chat about babies, Spanish tendencies, food, men and my now favourite Spanish phrase "me meaban los perros"......"I was so drunk, dogs were pissing on me"....aka "I passed out". 

Work has been fairly busy and I think I will be really sad when I leave it....depite some things driving me crazy, Mabel, as always, is such a sweetie, firstly organising a going away dinner for me, and secondly, after just spending the weekend in Ireland this weekend, where she met up with Niall Horan´s parents (family friends yanno...), asking them to get Niall to send me some One Direction stuff....hahaha, such a babe. I must also note that now into her summer wardrobe she is looking even more stunning. She walked in last week in this outfit that someone like Nicole Scherzinger would wear, hair done perfectly wavy, pretty make-up and killer heels....she looked like a blooming supermodel. No surprises when later that week, she told me that I was looking really nice and I blushed bright red thinking "omg the supermodel is saying that!" I actually feel as though I´m becoming more arrogant with my looks whilst I´m here though what with men always shouting "guapa" at me down the street. Not that I approve of this, and knowing that the men here only do it because of my pale skin and light hair and the fact that all Spanish men are complete sleazes....but still....when I walk down the road or into a club in Newcastle, lets be honest...I am not going to get that sort of attention!

Liz was asking me the other day if I am going to miss my wee apartment here. I guess there are kind of mixed feelings in regards to that. There are downsides to living alone definitely, you do get loney and you really always have to make an effort with people to keep your social life up. I´m also just a massive mahoosive over-thinker, so spending all that time alone can make your mind go a bit mad and fill up the ash tray with hundreds of cigarette butts! On the plus side, there is so much freedom, when I´m hungover I don´t have to talk to anyone (not the most sociable hungover person here....in fact...I generally just dislike people when I´m hungover...), I can eat when I want, sleep when I want, ignore tidying up for a while and of course the best part...NAKED TIME! I would say I spend 90% of the time in my flat naked....I´m even sleeping naked now, which before I ALWAYS had to have my jammies on lol. The only downside to being naked is the cooking part....oil splutters are not the funnest on bare skin!

Finally, although I´ve never been the biggest football fan ever.....of course the excitement of Atletico winning this weekend was great fun....town was filled with people in their Atletico strips all weekend and every single madrileño was in a good mood. ¡Viva Madrid!

DAY 195: La Semana Santa Viene

So another 4 months down in Madrid and it´s time for my Easter holidays and I´m really looking forward to a relaxing week at home. Spain definitely has had both its fun times and hard times and the whole experience is something I will vividly remember.

If I think about work, I came out here terrified, and speaking Spanish all day every day was so intimidating. Luckily my Spanish has improved a lot but with Mabel speaking to me in English all the time, perhaps I should be better. I think the whole thing when learning a language though is confidence and the more you speak it, even if you do make mistakes, the more you will improve. Anyway, despite her always speaking English to me, I have to thank Mabel for a lot. She´s so kind and has always been so supportive of everything and she is a really fantastic businesswoman. On top of that of course we have the fact that she is bloody gorgeous. I know I´m not a lesbian but I definitely am attracted to her ha. Her boyfriend is a lucky lucky man! The rest of the team are lovely too and Mariangeles is another girl who I ´ve really appreciated here. She sits opposite me and we chat all the time (this time in Spanish)…mainly about Ryan Gosling! It´s been really nice sitting with her for the past 8 months and despite her being a good 15 years older, she´s really been a friend. We of course have the people I don´t like though, and for people who know me well, the list of people in this world who annoy me is probably far too high! But anyway, first we have Noelia. Noelia came about a month ago and she is an intern like me but a few years older. Anyway, if I´m going to be honest here, she just absolutely loves herself and I can see her judging me every day and she always makes snide wee comments which piss me off. She´s so patronizing as well and thinks I can´t speak Spanish so just doesn´t like talking to me. Almudena is another one, or “Almu” as she gets called, which I don´t know why cracks me up. She´s nice I guess but just very…very.. dull. Finally, we have the German girl, Alex. It´s very much a love-hate relationship. For an 18 year old she is very close-minded and judgemental and comes across quite rude, but at the same time I do go for coffee breaks with her a lot and today we got on ok so I haven´t closed my opinion completely on her yet. I think she´s just complicated to understand, plus I guess we are just very different people. Anyway, enough of that bitching and back to work – sometimes boring, sometimes difficult and sometimes enjoyable – the matter of the fact is though that it has been a very good and possibly rewarding experience for me.

When I come back after Easter I will hardly have anytime left here and I know I´m going to miss the friends I´ve made out here a lot. I don´t really socialize outside of my work with my colleagues but of course I will miss them too.  If I´m honest we have probably had too many nights out of drinking far too much, doing silly things, kissing boys and munching on McDonalds but that is part of what the year abroad is about, in my opinion (that´s coming from the view of clearly a drunken mess). And of course we have had fun travelling…..Valencia….Lisbon….Toledo….Salamanca… - I literally just want to travel all the time now!

It also took me a while to embrace the Spanish culture. First of all…they eat so bloody much! I still don´t understand how most of them stay so thin – I swear they are eating at every moment of the day whether it be a “snack” (although to me a sandwich is not a snack?) or a big 3 course meal…with of course lots of bread and litres and litres and litres of olive oil. Olive oil is literally put into every single food they have here. You see people buying 5 litre bottles of it in supermarkets and that’s just to get them through the week! I for one am looking like a plump pudding. In addition to that, it took me a while to get used to them eating so late. I have lunch at 3/3.30pm every day and I´ve been out for dinner with friends at midnight, which isn´t even unusual! Spanish timetabling is something else as well…it´s so relaxed and mightily inefficient – the amount of times I have complained about at it this year has led me to write my assessed university essay on the year abroad this year about it. We also have the culture of the men, the very pervy, very sleazy, very sexist men. In clubs they want to grab you at any chance they get, so much so that two of my girl friends have ended up punching men in the face, and I´ve left the club fuming ranting my traditional “I hate men” speech. In the streets they yell at you and ask you to sleep with them and the sad thing is, that you just kind of have to get used to it!

However, as much as I do complain about things though, and I do like to complain, Madrid is a great city. The madrileños are incredibly friendly and welcoming people and the city is beautiful and always thriving. It feels like a city that never sleeps and everything is also all so cheap (apart from make-up…almost every British girl I know here really misses Boots). I can´t really complain about the weather here either – blue skies and well today, its 27 degrees. Of course I am sunburnt, and of course the Spanish are still going round in their unfashionable polo-necks!

Anyway that´s me off for just over a week. A nice big lunch with Sanderson after work today to celebrate and then Newcastle tomorrow followed by HOME. Here´s to my final stint in Madrid after Easter!! Not much longer to go!!!

DAY 166: Me duele el pie

I love Mabel. If she knew how much I went on about her, she would find it creepy, but I do. She is so cool. And being the wee babe that she is, she recommended her hairdresser to me who says they will do it cheaper for me just because I´m her "friend". Oh Mabel you wee babe. And I´m going to get my hair done like hers haha.

I don´t think she was too impressed with me yesterday though as I arrived into work 45 minutes late, still drunk from the night before. I´m guessing it was pretty obvious anyway. After going out for dinner with a few friends, Lucy, Andrew and I decided to go to a foam party at Pacha. Knowing before I went in that this wasn´t going to be a good idea and that I needed to remember to go home early, I ended up (of course) getting drunk and (of course) getting absolutely soaked in the foam. You could have gone swimming in that club it was so foamy, and it was so bloody dirty as well with everyone grinding on each other all wet. I had done my hair all nicely before I went out as well, all curled, which I never do, but of course I came out of the club (at 4.40am) looking like a drowned rat. Anyway, I don´t get how this happens, but I must just go into a serious deep sleep after drinking, but I (of course) missed all my alarms and woke up, luckily, at 8.50am - ten minutes before work! Now being in Spain and all, it is quite the norm for employees to arrive late, getting in for 9.30 am when you are meant to arrive at 9 always goes unnoticed. However, 9.45am, the time at which I arrived, was pushing it a little and Mabel give me a bit of a mean look. I was definitely still drunk as well, giggling away to myself and dropping things, and then the hangover hit me later on in the day, once I had left.

So I´ve fucked up my foot a little, all of you lucky enough to receive my snapchats will know this. It´s pussy and bloody on the top, with a massive blister on the bottom, and it is slightly sprained. And yes, this is all from Wednesday night. And no, I do not know how I did it. Anyway, I am literally hobbling along in pain at the moment and wore 3 socks today to work, making me foot look ever so fat. Don´t know how I´m going to cope tomorrow though as I´m off to Valencia again, and seeing as it´s a day trip, there will probably be a lot of walking.

But yes, Valencia tomorrow for "Las Fallas", a Spanish festival involving setting things alight, parades and dressing up. Just like we did in Salamanca, we are getting on the bus at 10am in Madrid and leaving Valencia at 4am Sunday morning. Sunday will be a sleep day. 

DAY 145: Estoy harta de España

Yesterday I was helping out at an event for people who claimed they had "too much money". Our business was to advise them on what they could invest their money in or spend their money on. As I arrived at 7.30am at the office, there to help out with the setting up as per usual, Mabel came up to me and said "So Sarah, do you have a boyfriend? There´s a lot of good looking rich men coming and you know, you could do well here". Bingo Mabel - you wise wise owl. Luckily, as it was an event, I was dressed smartly and had tried making an effort with some sexy (yet murderous) red heeled boots to top it off. These boots seemed a bit of a stupid idea later on in the day, as I ended up with blisters after walking to and from to and from to and from the meeting room with clients. Anyway, to my disappointment, all these men were really a bit too old for me....and married, so my dreams of being spoilt rotten with Michael Kors, fancy restaurants and romantic getaways went out the window. 

Apart from that, work has been pretty shit lately and I´m not enjoying myself as much as I was previously. I´m working with this girl Marta, who is lovely and all, don´t get me wrong, but she really is not the most interesting/logical/organised person to work with. My days are filled with checking bloody excel sheets against databases to make sure that all details of clients are correct and honestly, after doing about 2, I´m checking Facebook as a way to "interest" my life. It´s a shame because I liked Marta before, I´ve been out with her and she was very welcoming, but working with her is a whole different matter. This is why maybe its good not to "mix business with pleasure" - my social life and my life at work are two different stories.

I´ve also been ranting recently about Spain in general and how backwards I think the whole country is. Horrific timetables of businesses prove inefficient; the service industry cannot even compete with that of the UK (which only in comparison I have now noticed is much superior); men are sexist; and women are far from equal both socially and in the working world. There are a lot of other things that spring to mind, but I´ll save that for another day...

Living alone can be quite hard too. Yes, most of the time I like it, I can do what I want, have my own space, not care about washing up etc etc etc, but it does get lonely. It´s probably not the best idea that I spend my "lonely" time streaming episodes of 90210 instead of doing anything sociable or productive, but sometimes after work, I just get so tired (and fed up) that my wee bit of "relaxing time" turns into hours of tv, sleeping and eating. There´s a reason why I am getting so fat here! And socialising here, from my experience, consists mainly of drinking beer and nibbling on the free food they give you with it. Not that I´m complaining, I love my beer, but my belly really doesn´t and my professors back at uni most certainly wouldn´t either...

Anyway, fed up of all this, I have decided to go home this weekend, take a break from Spain and spend some time with the fam (and my dog...). Of course Mabel was fine with letting me off yet another day to go home early (she really is the most chillaxed boss) and my mum has been asking what I want in the fridge for when I get home (ahh Mummy you treat me well). Djibril (my dog) will be awaiting, and my Harry Styles cardboard cut-out from my 21st will be standing there beautifully. I´ll have the car and not be afraid to use it because of crazy Spanish drivers and my tv will be just a little bit bigger ;)..the only thing lacking is the beautiful Spanish sun - but I´ll be back in front of that next week (to "top up" my (very very fake) tan)!

DAY 139: Pedro

I had started to think that beautiful Pedro from when I first came to Madrid had forgotten me! I saw him when I first came and since then hardly ever. However, today as I was working on some boring excel with my ears completely blocked by blasting music from my headphones, Pedro appeared, beautiful beautiful Pedro, and naturally, I went all red. Either it´s the fact that he is just so handsome or my difficulty in understanding sexy Spanish accent, but literally my mind always fails me when I speak to him and he now thinks I´m a retard who still can´t speak Spanish after 5 months here. Anyway, being all charming (it is Valentine´s day after all ;) ), he invited me for dinner with him and his family. How lovely and very kind, but also, how awkward....let´s just say..things with his nephew, Alvaro, the fittie Hollister model from a while ago, did not end so well....*cough* asshole *cough*.  After Pedro left, you could see all the other girls giggling and smiling and then they all came up to me and asked "who is that Sarah?"...yes beautiful, beautiful Pedro is still well and truly "smokin hawt".

So I did something I hadn´t done in a while yesterday...I slept in through work! I thought those days were past me now that I am a mature 21-year-old, but sadly no. I knew I shouldn´t have been going out on Wednesday night in the first place but it was Sanderson´s friend´s last night in Madrid so something had to take place. Fair to say, the night did not end up so smoothly though....my neighbour now literally hates me and was buzzing on my door all day yesterday (of which I never answered because I´m too scared), I got into an argument, got punched, failed to make it to the club, got a taxi home which I couldn´t pay for and called my friend back home crying my eyes out...total mess. It´s times like that I just think, wow I´m an idiot, and that it really is time to cut back on the alcohol consumption. Saying that, I am going out tonight BUT I aim to just drink some beers...(come on, not not going to drink at all..).

So apart from a cheeky wee day off yesterday work has been pretty dire this week. My life is filled with boring databases and excels at the moment and the highlight this week, as always, has been getting the left over food from events - fat pig here. I´ve tried to be healthy, I really have, and I managed it up until Wednesday, but when Thursday came and that hangover was bangin, salad just wasn´t going to suffice.

Thank God it´s Friday though, and I plan on being a little more chillaxed this weekend. Also I´ve been thinking about the fact that if I hadn´t extended my job until June, this would be my last day, which just seems crazy. I don´t want to leave - I love it here! Viva Madrid.

DAY 135: Sanderson

Well after a horrendous week at work of office fuck-ups, people I wanted to slap and some mind-numbingly boring tasks, I was so so so ready for Friday. I met Rosie after work in Starbucks where she was waiting after her flight had come in and we went for a big fatty pizza lunch and it was gorgeous. We also indulged in a bottle of wine which lead to a very sleepy Sarah who had a siesta in the afternoon, waking up with a massive cock drawn on my face by Rosie 2 hours later - great. 

That night, it was time to celebrate Sanderson´s birthday and I had offered to have the party in my flat seeing as Sanderson lives way out in Alcala. It was good and very loud, and luckily the neighbours didn´t complain this time! There were 3 neck nominations, one of which was me drinking whisky and vodka through a straw whilst doing a handstand...fair to say, it did not end very smoothly. Anyway, we left at about 1am in order to get the last metro into town but by 2 metro stops down, it was fair to say that Sanderson just wasn´t going to make it out. As we all carried her out of the metro and into the street, causing a lot of attention from the locals who looked at us British folk with disgust, Sanderson proceeded to chunder and we all knew that really she wasn´t going to make it into the club. So, off Rosie, Emma and I left, leaving the others behind, to take Sanderson back to mine. As we reached mine, Sanderson had completely gone by this point and the taxi driver had to help us carry her up to my apartment. I have to say, it did feel a little bit like we were carrying a dead body. At mine, I threw glasses of water over her to wake her up (and to half amuse me) at which she woke up and replied "stop chundering on me"...oh Sanderson. Anyway, she got to bed, slept it off and Rosie and I got pizza and danced around to One Direction for a couple of hours....taking the party with of us of course (even if it was One Direction..). 

Sanderson wasn´t even hungover in the morning, much to Rosie and I´s disappointment who were feeling the effects of last night´s pre. Anyway, we did get ourselves up though to do something "cultural" as last time Rosie was here, we missed that part out. Of course first we decided to have a nice lunch though and surprised ourselves greatly by ordering a salad....this never happens on a hangover. I then attempted to take Rosie on a tour of Madrid, telling her that a cathedral was the Royal Palace and that a mosque was a cathedral and so on....god, I´m great at this stuff. We ended up at Madrid´s Egyptian temple "El Templo de Debod", which really isn´t as facinating as it sounds. All it is is like 3 small walls with a wee moat around it. But you know, at least we were doing something. Soon it was time to head back to the flat for yet another siesta, which turned into a good 4 hour sleep. We needed it though, as we were determined to have a proper night out this time. 

We went to this club called Joy, which is an old theatre and looks really cool. It played all the classic songs you could sing a long to and we found this amazing man who had some incredible dance moves...oh he was hilarious. We even got on the stage with him at one point just because we thought he was so cool. Surprisingly though, Rosie and I did not feel the slightest bit drunk. We had had 3 gin and tonics in the space of an hour before we left, 2 strong vodka red bulls when we first came to the club, and then a jaegar and another strong gin and tonic later on. We just did not understand why it wasn´t hitting us. Sanderson was being very sensible this night and sipped on one gin and tonic for about 4 hours. 

Waking up the next morning, we didn´t feel ill but just exhausted and proceeded to spend the entire day in bed watching episodes and episodes of 90120 on Netflix...shit show but addicting. There was a small trip out to lunch but it didn´t last long and we were quickly back in bed after being practically blown away by the strong wind and drenched by the rain. Seriously, the weather at the moment in Madrid is horrendous. Should probably just move back to Scotland where it likely to be nicer. 

So I´ve probably gained about 2 stone this weekend as we have literally eaten so much pizza, ice-cream, sweets and cheetos....(the guy at the corner shop must have thought we were weird with the amount of cheetos we kept going in to buy..but they are just sooo goooood). Attempting to detox a bit this week, but knowing me it will probably only last a day. I really am an unstoppable fatty. 

Hate Mondays and I am exhausted, but hopefully work this week is just a tad better...if not, could be getting into trouble for wacking someone in the face...really need to stay reserved.

DAY 117: El Cumpleaños

Well nightmare this morning having the top come off my water bottle on the way to work and soaking every single item in my brand new Michael Kors handbag. Shit times. At least it´s only water and so the bag isn´t ruined but my phone charger I doubt is going to work. Dammit. 

So had my birthday night out last week and well it was probably one of the most drunken night´s in Madrid I´ve had so far, however, I did manage to stay out til 7am! Sent away from the door at first to go and ´sober up´, we went to McDonald´s round the corner, where I ate three measly chips and staggered around calling people outside. Eventually I was let in though and continued to drink telling every single person in the club that it was in fact my birthday. Every single DJ hated me and the Kareoke guy wouldn´t let me sing, probably because I kept trying to smoke inside, but hey, I had fun...from what I remember. 

The next day was a complete right off - see that´s what happens in your old age of 21, hangovers just get worse and worse. I couldn´t even make it to the shop next door so I had to make do with some horrible pasta I had tried...frying?!...when I had got home the night before. I was even tired the day after but did manage to get myself out of bed and walk round Madrid the whole day with a girl I met through my friend Jo, also called Sarah. 

There´s a new girl at work, but unlike the last one, she´s actually lovely! She´s German and 18 and I´ve loserishly taken on the role of her sort of ´mentor´being like "ahh yes I was the same when I first I arrived...I remember this...I remember that.." She´s probably thinking, "Sarah, please shut the fuck up, you´re not cool." But oh well. 

Luckily Mabel is back so things are a bit better. Her birthday was the day before mine and I gave her a wee tartan scarf from Scotland which she seems to really like. She goes to me "Sarah we´re like twins with our Scottish clothes and almost matching birthdays" and I´m like " I wish Mabel, I wish". The girl crush is never ending...

Emma and I went to a Scottish bar last night, literally just named "Scottish Pub" - how original. However, as we went in, expecting to find irn bru and haggis (a girl can dream right?) we realised that it was just a very typical Spanish bar and we and an old Spanish man were it´s only customers. Beginning the night chatting all girl talk - mostly boys and tinder - the bar man then decided to quiz us on our opinions on Scotland´s independence and other political things and the Royal family. It was fun though and by the end of the night he was telling us to go out there and have fun and have some flings with Spanish boys.

Off to Salamanca this weekend with some friends, which will hopefully be better than last time I was there, with my horrific school exchange, who never smiled and was just an incredibly awkward person. Also going to get my nose pierced today...feeling a bit scared and worried it will get infected and give me some sort of disgusting looking witch´s wart on my nose but fingers crossed it´s ok! 

DAY 104: Santiago Bernabeu

So I´m not the biggest football fanatic, or the biggest sports fanatic in general, but it was time to hit up Santiago Bernabeu and go and see a Real Madrid match and I have to say, I loved it! The streets around the stadium were filled with people (mostly men) drinking beer and throwing fire-crackers (terrifying) and it was pretty clear that not only were we representing some of the only girls but we were also evidently British. In the stadium we were taking so many photos, befriending a random Spanish boy so we could pose with his flag and everyone was laughing at us, but oh well, in the modern day of Instagram, it needed to happen! So with little knowledge of what actually goes on at a football match, it started and I asked Sanderson (an avid football fan) why one of the players was just wearing all black. "That would be the referee Sarah...."....so yeah, great start! Anyway, after cheering my way through the match, catching up with mis amigas and screaming for beautiful Ronaldo, I said at the end "I really want to go to an Atletico match now!"....maybe it´s time that I finally get into football.

Mabel is off work at the moment and so is the girl down from her, so with no boss around you can imagine how even more relaxed and more unorganised the office is. Mabel is always quite good at explaining to me exactly what I need to do but yesterday I had someone explain to me a task which made no sense at all. I mean, the task made sense and was pretty straight forward as I´ve done it before, but this girl took a good 45 minutes to explain to me how to do something putting in some really irrelevant things and just complicating the matter. Really, I should just run this place!

I want to get a dog whilst I´m here and have actually been told I was allowed to by my mum (which was a real shock). It would give me some company and I could take it home with me afterwards, just perfect! However, let´s be honest, that´s just not going to happen...and what would I do with it at weekends I´m away. I do just miss my doggy back home so much :(

Off out tonight but trying to keep my new year´s resolution to drink less and a few other things with friends planned for the weekend. It´s not too hard a life eh?

DAY 101: Hola Madrid

Well first day back at work and I´ve already made a mistake. To be fair it wasn´t my fault - I was told to do something by someone which turned out to be wrong and then it messed up something for someone else and things have gone out to clients and so on...basically, it´s a pretty big shitty mistake. However, NOT MY FAULT so I am just going to move on from it...oopsies. It is quite nice being back though - getting all dressed up in my fancy work clothes, fannying around on a laptop and seeing all the girls again. Oh and of course there´s Mabel, beautiful Mabel. She comes over to my desk, looking gorgeous as per usual,  new highlights in her hair and gives me a massive hug and tells me how beautiful I am and hugs me again and asks me about Christmas - I just love her. I´m like ´babe, I´m not beautiful, you are´and it goes on like that, mwah mwah mwah, la la la, etc. 

Everything was closed yesterday when I arrived back as it was sort of like the Spanish Christmas Day where they celebrate the Three Kings coming (kind of instead of Santa). There were hardly any cars around and the streets were filled with leftover fireworks and sweet wrappers etc, however, of course, my wee 24 hour shop around the corner was open, just to save the day as I had zero food in the flat and was starving. 

It didn´t even feel that weird coming back, it just felt normal, like arriving back to where I lived - sounds really weird but I had expected it to feel a bit strange. I had forgotten that Spain has a smell. This isn´t just Madrid, I swear it just has this smell about it of hotter air and tapas. Again, sounds weird. I am weird. I didn´t get to sleep for ages last night, blaming it on my one hour time difference but yanno, I think I was just buzzing/was getting worked up about a certain person who pisses me off and couldn´t put my mind at rest. 

So apart from this fuck-up at work, of which was passing my time quite well, I´m back to doing nada - writing a blog, which I´m kind of bored of now and facebook stalking. Hola España. 

DAY 90: La Vida

I haven't written in ages so memories are becoming pretty vague, what with my excessive drinking that my friends keep commenting on, so let's see what I can say....

Work is goooood and my Spanish is getting better and better, so I'm pretty chuffed. Thankfully, without sounding like too much of a bitch here, the new girl left. She was meant to stay here for a year but clearly just couldn't hack it like savvy Slaw can....Don't get me wrong, nice girl, but you know, I just couldn't help but be a bitch to her because she really was just irritating. She would do things wrong and them blame it on me or she would try and delegate her tasks to me etc..it was just like, babes, get a grip. Anyway, she left...wasn't enjoying it...so now it's just me and I have a lot more work to do now she's gone. It's quite good as it does keep me busy and I often stay until about 7pm doing stuff, but it can also just be a bit like eurghhhhhh and many fag breaks are taken. 

I'm obsessed with my boss, Mabel. She's soooo pretty and I think I just fancy her. I literally always try and dress fashionably so she thinks I look good because she is so "on trend" with everything. The others are all pretty great too. Sometimes annoying and sometimes soooo unorganised, like this morning I was woken up at 6am to be told to get into work early - thanks for the warning - wouldn't have stayed up watching the finale of Breaking Bad if I had known. To be fair though, at least I wasn't hungover... 

What pissed me off today though is this guy in the office. So he only arrived last Thursday and sat in the desk in front of me and I did not think anything of him. We spoke no words and I don't think I gave him a second glance. Then when I was packing up my stuff at 7pm he told me to wait and handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. Now being classic silly me, I just kind of giggled, which probably came across kind of rude thinking about it now, but hey, who cares - I'm the one being given the number :P. Anyway, I felt it was rude not to text him seeing as I would be seeing him at work today (we had Friday and Monday off). So I texted him and just said it was me and then he proceeded to ask me out on 2 dates over the weekend, both of which I declined - I hate dates with someone you don't know, so bloody awkward. So today he came into work and it was just so incredibly "uncomfortable". He kept staring at me so I pretended I was focussing on my work and then he kept texting me and I just pretended I hadn't seen my phone. No banter whatsover, not the kind of guy I am interested in. One of the texts was like "isn't it funny how no one here knows"...I'm like dude there's nothing here to know and actually they do know because I was taking the piss out of you with them earlier. So then he asked me out for drinks after work and again I declined and he responded with "that's ok, means I can go back to working out in the gym"...really? Did you really just say that? Gag.

I've been getting quite lonely recently in my wee apartment, the novelty of living alone is kind of wearing off. I come home and I have no one to talk to and so the amount of tv watched is becoming ridiculous. I'm considering just taking my dog back with me from Edinburgh after the Christmas holidays. I miss my wee cutie. 

And of course there have been a few drunken nights but I can't remember anything silly I've done....oh no wait, that's a lie. I poured a beer over a guys head the other night because he was insulting Scotland, which was fairly amusing. He then got me back by pouring his vodka over me and I got raging yelling "but I have hair unlike you!" Damn hair was so sticky the rest of the night. Need to learn. We also almost got robbed the other night but luckily my friend Michael was there to save the day as I claimed he was my husband. 

Just over a week now until I am back home and I CANNOT BLOODY WAIT. Can't quite believe I've done 3 months here now, time has flown by and I have absolutely loved it! I am so excited to go home though and see my family, my doggy and my friends, eat Mum's cooking and have my 21st birthday party (woop). Until then, I am munching on purely celery sticks as I'm very very worried that my outfit for my party isn't quite going to fit....yum.

DAY 64: Las bebidas gratis

Well, this is great, I am sitting in work, stinking of alcohol with a horrendous headache. Everyone knows I am hungover, I have already been "told off" and eurgh I haven´t even had breakfast. Queiro morir! (I. want. to. die.).

So Sanderson and I went to a shop yesterday..."Los sabores del mundo"..."The flavours of the world"....purely to find one thing...IRN BRU. There really is nothing like it. It´s so expensive here but just so worth it (especially on days like today). I ended up spending 16 quid ...oopsies. They also sold Dairy Milk (another important purchase) and Smarties!! (I know what I´ll be doing this afternoon...). So after this (very important) trip, we decided to go for drinks and dinner. Strolling around Sol, trying to find the cheapest place for beer (of course) we were preyed upon by a promotor (of course). He took us to a bar where we each had a pint of (very strong) tequila sunrise for 3 euros. I really have only just remembered this and it definitely explains the goings on later in the night...

Dying for food, we ventured on to the restaurant where I have now been 3 times...parents, Liz and now Sanderson. They just love me there and of course we were conned into getting free drinks AGAIN. We arrived there about 7.30pm and they kept asking us to stay until 2am when they shut. We were so against this to begin with, but yes somehow time flew by (6 hours in a restaurant?!) and we both ended up hammered and going to the Irish pub next door with them....where we bought more drinks. In addition to this, there was a man selling funny glasses and hats etc outside and thinking it was hilarious, we bought some. I was going around this bar with pink flashing Minnie Mouse ears on.....We must have looked so stupid, made better by the fact that we were taking so many selfies (who doesn´t love a selfie?!). So these MEN we came if with, the waiters and two random fat bald guys separated us. It was a sad moment. Both clearly too drunk to notice, I was taken downstairs and Sarah was kept at the bar. Finally, we found each other and decided to run away (to McDonalds) and then to my apartment where we nom-ed and passed out.

I woke up this morning at 8.50 (10 minutes before work) when Sanderson suddenly said "Slaw, don´t you have work at 9?" Christ, what is wrong with me. I haven´t done this for a while now but clearly nothing has changed! However, I DID MAKE IT INTO WORK by 9.30am..just looking a bit "drab". Cannot wait til I finish. It is days like these I love just having a desk job. Poor Sanderson had to go and teach English to a bunch of 14 year olds.

So apart from that, I really have nothing else to say. Work´s the same, except for the new girl kind of annoys me...(I´ll rant another time) and I am really still pretty lazy. However, I have started walking to and from work every day, which is about 50 minutes each way...so that´s pretty healthy! It´s kind of embarrassing actually..I listen to the Nick Grimshaw Breakfast Show every morning on my way to work (brilliant show just brilliant) and I must look like such a freak because I am constantly laughing or smiling to myself about what´s being said....people must think I´m in love or just had sex or something. ANYWAY, yes that´s all for now. I´ve now been asked to "do some work" and I´ve already unimpressed them with my "antics" so best be off...ciao.

DAY 61: La Puta de la Oficina

Still at work! My first "full" Spanish working day. They work until 7pm waaah. (However, did get a nice big lunch in the cafe followed by some sunbathing outside the office with a few of the girls...so so Spanish!). It has been so busy up until now and I am pretty damn proud of myself. I was given a task on Friday to be completed today and it was quite technical and important because the big bosses would be reading it. Anyway I got it all done and Mabel checked it over and apparently I did a "fantastic job" #gome. The new girl didn´t help though. I´m becoming such a wee office bitch. We were initially meant to split the task but then she did it all wrong and I had to go over and correct it all...I mean geeeesss....it´s almost as if I have never been in that position.....

I can´t believe I´ve been here two months now! Cray cray. Time is flying by. And to think when I first came I literally hated this job and couldn´t do anything right....things have changed so much. I´ve also now been able to extend my job until June next year! So so so sooooo happy! Initially, I only had it until February and then I had to go and find another job elsewhere, which is pretty tricky in the current Spanish economy, especially without "Daddy" as a contact...

So the weekend was fun, and for once I wasn´t out getting shitfaced. I´ve been quite embarrassed lately as two people over the past week have both said that I am "like a child". So there´s my friend from uni who said I always just talk about "embarrassing myself when drunk" (which is true...) and then my friend here who said that I sing and get hyper too much. After years of thinking I was "older than my years", I´ve discovered that I really am just an immature 20-year-old...I have two months until I should probably start "growing up". ANYWAY, Liz and  I went shopping on Friday evening (that´s right, after complaining for two months about how I am so broke and going to be homeless soon, MY ERASMUS GRANT CAME THROUGH and I actually just feel so bloody rich!.....Bets on how long it lasts...2 weeks?) So yeah we went shopping and I bought a jacket, a t-shirt (in the sale at least) and lots of jewellery (and only cheap crap that makes my fingers green...would you really trust me with an 100 pound necklace...err no. (There are no pound signs available on a Spanish keyboard btw fyi). We then had a gorgeous dinner in a nice wee Spanish restaurant where I took my parents when they came. After finishing our meal and asking for our bill though, the charming waiter did not want us to leave, so invited us to a free glass of wine (I´m just irresistible, I know). After thaaaat, we then asked for the bill again when we were then offered a free shot. We gracefully declined (see, that´s me, growing up...). It was pretty evident they were trying to get us drunk.

In hysterics, Liz and I got the metro back to my flat where I just "tipsy-ly" sang and danced for her. She is a lucky girl eh? But the wine had kicked in making us sleepy by this point and so bed it was. I have a bit of a problem with wine. If I drink too much of it, I just don´t sleep well. So I slept for about 3 hours before waking up at 3am, amusing myself with Liz´s sleep-talking. It was this at this point, I decided to put on ma pod and have a wee boogie in the bed, waking Liz up with all my bootaaay-shaking. It was very strange, I literally felt like I was high or something. SO WIDE AWAKE. So this continued until 7am - not all "dance-floor fillers", I also went through an emotional I HATE MY LOVE LIFE phase with Adele and (this is cringe but, Demi Lovato)...and then through my "chill" playlist until I could finally feel myself getting tired. 

We went to Toledo the next day which is the old capital of Spain and it was really beautiful. There were cathedrals and a mosque and we even got to see the start of a Spanish wedding, which was pretty cool - not sure the bride was too happy with us gate-crashing though! By the end of the afternoon, however, we had gotten pretty bored, that was enough culture (and walking for the day). It was then back to Alcala for a night of X Factor viewing and movies.

Cristina made me YET ANOTHER fabulous lunch yesterday. I´m not really sure what it was but there was a meat in it that tasted a little bit like black pudding....nom..

I don´t have any plans this week :( However, I guess that is very Spanish and so I´m hoping something "spontaneous" will come up. Apart from that, might be planning a wee flat party. Show everyone my "pad". Or as my friends here call it, my "lad pad" because you know....just bring back sooooo many men don´t I.....naaaat. As I said to my brother drunkenly on Facebook about two weeks ago "I am not a slut Pat! Don´t worry your little sister is not a slut!"....rambling on....I don´t know why....about some "goings-on" in first year....oh dear Sarah, oh dear.

DAY 56: SCOTLAND

A few weeks ago I would have said that if I went home mid-way, I probably wouldn´t want to come back...however, I really do love it here so all is good. Home was nice though and I literally stuffed my face with roast pork, lasagne and whatever else Mother Hen had cooked for me....I think she secretly wants an obese child...It was a pretty chilled weekend with lots of cuddles from my lovely doggy and just a tad of shopping. I say "just a tad"...I now have no money. I thought my Erasmus Grant would come through yesterday....but it hasn´t...#financiallyfucked.

So I got back today and there was a girl sitting in my desk. I´m sorry, WHAT. Been here 2 months now..I have established my working area bitch. She´s the now new girl and was offered my desk, so now I´m sitting opposite her, hidden by a closet next to me so no one can see me...don´t know if that´s good or bad. Plus side, I can go on Facebook more easily (and write stupid stuff like this), but then it also now means I´m a complete loner. Geeees, just as I was starting to make ´work friends´....oh well. 

Not sure what plans are for this week apart from another party with the insurance lot, the crazy crew. You would never think people working in insurance would be that fun...I take that from my Dad who works in that sector....although saying that, he did get pissed on Saturday afternoon going to a football match with his uni mates ... "The Reekers" they call themselves...and then had to go to a dinner party afterwards, of which Judith (mother) was not impressed. Anyway yeah, drinks with them and then think I´m going to see the stage show of "The Lion King" in Spanish lol....love a wee a musical. 

Diet has started, bought a shit load of salad yesterday. However, I have decided not to count alcohol as let´s be honest, that´s not going to happen. 

Here´s to the next 6 weeks!

DAY 38: La Nudista

Well well done me and my linguistic skills. I was talking to one of the girls at work today about my dad and describing to her the term 'dadd'y's girl'. In this explanation what I meant to say was 'I suck up to my dad so that he think's I'm a little princess'....what it came out as was ' I suck off my dad so that he thinks I'm a little princess.' F.M.L. The horror on this girl's face was followed by 'QUE?!' especially with the fact that I said it so casually. At first I thought, alright calm down love, I suck up to my dad yeah to fool him a bit what's the big deal, I don't like him knowing and I smoke, get drunk...and other things...(even though I'm fooling myself that he doesn't already know these things)...and then she told me what I said, forever scarring me with that image in my mind. Good one Sarah! Ew.

ANYWAY, apart from that work has been pretty busy this week with lot's of events. This means a lot of setting up tables and greeting people but it also means a lot of free food and wine. I got to go to an international event is this very fancy casino on Tuesday night and have lovely champagne and dinner. Actually, the dinner wasn't that great, it was fish (gag) - never give me fish - but it was still fancy. Today's event was a breakfast meeting called 'Fashion Lab' and so there were people coming from Luis Vuitton, Hermes, Cortefiel etc, and as you would suspect, a lot of very camp men! I tried to dress appropriately, you know business chic 'with a twist' but pretty sure my style didn't quite suffice. However, it was fun to see all these people none-the-less even though all I did was go up and down an elevator all morning bringing each person to the conference room. That's 50 floors by the way, up and down 50 levels every 5 minutes! There was a man and woman who came in and I just assumed they were business partners as they seemed to know each other reasonably well. Maybe they were, but they also seemed to have quite an 'initimate' relationship. As we went up the tower, he kept his hand on her ass whilst they kissed and stroked each other....not really something you would expect to see in an office for a global audits company..especially in a lift full of staff...but the Spanish are pretty fond of their PDA. Gag. Seriously, they are kissing everywhere you go, and in the park they practically have sex. So grim. Not a fan of a pda...

So I get the metro every morning to work and as you do on the London tube, I people watch. It's quite good because what I've come to realise is that Spain (I guess like London as well) really has a lot of weirdos. I've seen transvestites, more people practically having sex and women breast feeding with their full on boobs out, no kidding, I've seen their nipples and everything....and they call the English girls slags....:P It also gets so hot on the metro and as a fake tan user, this does not bode well, with brown beads of sweat dripping down my neck....lovely. Sometimes it should just be acceptable to walk around naked...although I guess that contradicts what I just said about the breast feeding mothers!

Apart from all that I have had a pretty quiet week chilling by myself, which has actually been quite nice. I can laze about and catch up on series, walk round naked, have time to cook nice food and skype my friends back home. Tonight, however, I am out for another 'despedida' (farewell party) so the free drinks will be flowing. Tomorrow then I off to Alcala (again)...it has become my second home! Here's to it being Friday! 

DAY 26: La Semana

So haven't written in a while so best get crackin' on my past week. It's definitely been a week of ups and downs!

Monday and Tuesday I'm not going to lie, were pretty shit. I was feeling very homesick and lonely and I really missed everyone back home! However, things change. On Wednesday, I went for a very spontaneous night out with Andrew. We were doing a bit of a bar crawl and picking up leaflets from people in the street. One girl brought us to a club which was completely free for girls - this is what I love about Spain! Andrew had to pay 10 euros to get in but with that he got 2 drinks for whatever he wanted. I, on the other hand, was just given a glass to refill and refill - I chose gin and tonic, because I'm just so classy.... We then went to this bar called Starstudio which I had been to 3 years ago. The place has transformed so much. We arrived, and again being a girl, I got a free mojito ;) Everyone was dancing and we got up on this podium and belted out the tunes, which included the Proclaimers....best song ever for a Scottish person when you're drunk. Suddenly, these people were up on the bar, dressed up as LMFAO, they stripped off down to their pants and everyone went mad. Then we got funnels of cava poured down our throats (again all free) and then there was a competition on the bar for girls to 'shake their booties'...I did not compete...that would not have been a good experience for anyone's eyes! Of course at 6pm, we found ourselves in McDonalds before walking back home. As I said by to Andrew I go 'I don't even feel that drunk! I have to get up in a hour, I'll just stay awake..' So, if you've read a previous blog of mine, that sounds very familiar...and yes, again, I did sleep in and miss work! I need to grow up. However, I told my boss I had just 'forgotten to set my alarm' and she told me to come and work a bit later. It was fine and she wasn't angry at all....PHEW.

Friday was a good night as well. I met up with Liz and some of her friends from when she was in Spain three years ago. They were so much fun. Embracing the Spanish lifestyle, we went for dinner at midnight! Crazy, but that is so normal here! I drank so much wine, and I could feel myself getting pissed again. Liz stayed over on Friday and both of us woke up in the morning, heads aching and feeling numb. There were doritos in the bed, Liz was in her pants and my bag looked as though it had just been thrown across the room. I'm not even lying when I say that I stayed in bed until 8pm that day! Laziest person ever. Anyway, it was then time to get back on it, but this night was not the best....Lara came round for drinks which was fun and we chatted about everything, basically telling each other our life stories and drunkenly getting emotional. We then met up with another girl, Sarah, in a place called Tribunal where she was hanging out with some Spanish dudes. Now I'm quite an open-minded person and these people were lovely, don't get me wrong...but...if I say that they were all long-haired, pierced and tattooed, the picture of me in a blue and gold sparkly top and full face of make up, probably doesn't pop into mind. We had a drink with them in a bar and then I really decided I wanted to go home. I hailed a taxi and ended the evening watching X Factor!

I went on a wee walking tour by myself today to just get to know the city a bit better. It really is a beautiful city with so much to offer. I bought some Spanish food from a wee market, looked in a few shops, and then chilled at Lara's for a bit.

In terms of work, things are slowly getting better. I have been really struggling with it and it is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like the team think I am so stupid! However, I asked my boss, Mabel, if I could have a little meeting with her about what's expected of me and just to say how I was feeling about things. It's a good thing I did! She asked me: 'So how long have you been here now Sarah?' '3 weeks'. She had such a shocked expression on her face. She for some reason thought that I had been in the other department for 5 months! She apologised and apologised to me because she had been treating me like I knew everything, when really I am pretty clueless. At least now they will understand why I'm so crap.

What I've learnt about Spain so far is that it really is behind the times on everything. I mean this in terms of the corporate world and in terms of lifestyle and culture. Technologically they are not as advanced, things close so early, everyone is late all the time and the men really do like to shout things at you. It's great in some ways because I love seeing different cultures and I like the way they stay true to their traditions, however, as I've said before, there is a reason why they suffer so much economically and a lot of it comes down to the fact that they are just not progressing with the rest of the us.

DAY 16: La Ley

I woke up this morning in my bra and tights, contacts still in making me half blind and make up still on. There was a half eaten bowl of pasta next to me and all the lights were on. I looked at my watch, it said 12pm and I honestly thought it was just broken. So then I looked at my phone and nope, it was 12pm - I had missed work!

So last night I was invited out for drinks with some of the office people. I really didn't want to go. I just imagined a bunch of older accountants having a couple of beers and being home before 12. With what I just described to you as my morning, clearly, I was wrong! I met Isabel and a couple of others at the metro stop and we walked to this nearby bar where everyone was wearing nice dresses and heels .... I was in a blue shirt and denim shorts (which I have somehow ripped). Anyway, the alcohol was free and I was very shy and nervous, so there was really no other option than to drink a lot. Everyone talked to me in English, probably not the point of me being here but hey, and they wanted to know all about the UK and how it's different to Spain. I then got onto a conversation about the differences between Spanish boys and English boys and Spanish girls and English girls. So this guy said to me 'This is how we perceive the British. You will agree with what I say about boys but you will get angry with what I say about the girls.' I nudged him on. 'English boys are...how you say.....assholes?' I agreed. 'And well erm, English girls, I think the word is...easy?' I laughed. 'You're not angry?' he said. 'Not at all. It's true.' And so there we go first impression made, I'm a slag. 

So after a couple of beers, a couple of sangrias, and a treble gin and tonic (yeah it's not just Newcastle folks ;) ), Fernando, crazy crazy Fernando ordered 5 shots of whisky and says to me. 'You're Scottish. You've got to show us how it's done.' Christ. I thought he was meaning I had to do all the shots! Luckily not, they were for other people as well. That did not go down well. 

We were in this bar until about 2am (early in Spain), drinking, smoking inside, dancing, eating...it was so much fun, and everyone was trying to teach me Spanish swearwords. Fernando, crazy crazy Fernando, told me that if I wanted to say that I'm drunk, I can use the word 'mamoda' (I think). However, this has two meanings, the first being 'I'm drunk' like he said, and the second, the meaning he did not to tell me, was basically 'I want to blow you'. Great. So as I said it to people I got a lot of looks like 'alright calm down you Scottish slag' until I was finally told otherwise!

We headed to a club around 2.30am which was really good fun and it was at this point I just became a total mess. It's that moment in the night where just don't care how stupid you look. I was jumping on people, stealing people's hats, taking photos and apparently...sending my friends snapchats of me on the toilet?? I really know how to stay classy. Suddenly it was 5.30am and it was time to go. We all walked out, which at this point I realised all the girls I was hanging with had gone, and it was just me and the boys. Anyway, I really don't know how this happened but I got into a political debate with this guy about the UK and Spain. I say political debate but it was really just him winding me up well with me drunkenly yelling 'yeah but you're country is in so much shit, the UK rule all'. What an embarrassment! I forget sometimes how angry I can get when I'm drunk...some of you will know this all too well! The argument eventually ended after I realised he was just taking the piss out of me and we ended up hugging being like 'I LOVE YOOOOOU'. Typical. 

I remember coming home at 6am and laughing so much and practially talking to myself going 'ah I have an hour to sleep. Hehehe. I'm so naughty. Hehehe.' Now I swear I set my alarm...but erm, clearly I was far too pissed. SO my boss is going to be happy on Monday.....

Oh, and I better mention, I called this blog 'La Ley' because that is what they have all started calling me. It means Law in Spanish. I quite liked it, because because I was 'the law', everyone had to play by my rules...which means, next time I go out with Fernando, he has promised to wear a skirt to represent a true Scotsman ;) yeah buddy.

DAY 8: La Mierda

Being a Scot, it´s understandable I find the heat here difficult. That is why last night my stomach was tossing and turning for hours whilst I huddled over my toilet. How grim. I blame dehydration and my habit of drinking beer instead of water. However, it could also have been the ´tuna´empanadilla I had at lunch...tuna is meant to be red, right? I was so gutted as well. I had been invited out for drinks with some Erasmus people that night, MY FIRST FIESTA IN SPAIN!!! Instead, I lay in the fetal position in bed, watching a partiuclar home comfort of mine, The Great British Bake-Off. Moving on from that, I feel so much better today and I am even considering going out for drinks tonight - you can take the girl out of Scotland...

The past two days at work have been just a little bit better. I emailed a Madrileño from the office in London who I met this summer and asked her if she could "hook me up" with anyone in the office here. I met Laura, a lovely, younger, Spanish girl who said that she will show me around the city. It´s been with this that I´ve been thinking how important it is to push yourself in these situations. You need to ask people about things and express when you´re unhappy. Otherwise, like before, you could just end up sitting at a desk all day doing nada.

The boss still isn´t great though. However, I did get some slight satisfaction over her the other day. As I implied previously, she´s one of these people who is quite up on her high horse. As I went to the office loo and waited as the cubicles were all full, my boss then appeared out of one. Seeing me there waiting, an embarrassed expression spread across her face - that's right, she had done both a stinker and a floater! 1 - up- slaw. Don't look at me like shit babe if I have to look at yours. And oh, I waited until another cubicle was free...faeces makes me gag.

DAY 6: La economía

In the tough financial times that we've had over the recent years, some might ask why the Spanish economy is especially bad...I think I could give the explanation a fair go without going into too much detail about GDP and GNP and all that other stuff that I am meant to know from uni...

1. Everything in the workplace is done 'luego'. This means 'later'. You ask for something to be done and then ooh two days later they are working on it.
2. They all sleep in the afternoons - the typical Spanish 'siesta'. Does any work get done in this time? No. Instead, let's just have a beer over a massive lunch and then go to sleep for a couple of hours as working at 2pm is just too stressful.
3. The banks shut at 2.30pm. That means you have half an hour from the start of your siesta at 2pm to run to the bank before it closes. Does it reopen again? Very rarely. Can you go in your spare time at the weekend? Paha!
4. Work starts at 9am, but at 11am it's time for another breakfast. A good 45 minutes of work lost again.
5. Spanish women don't like English girls. Say you have a 20 year old English girl working as an unpaid intern for you, it is advisable to look at them with pity like an animal at the zoo. Teamwork - nah!
6. Spanish men like English girls. More time is spent looking at their breasts than looking at the computer screen.

Just an observation!

DAY 5: La Fashionista

Spanish exchanges who came to our school were always memorable for dressing poorly. They would arrive with their polo-necks, baggy jeans and rucksacks, whilst us girls, at the age of 14, would be wearing uggs, skinny jeans and a tighter-fitting top to highlight our then AA-cup breasts. I guess I assumed that the exchanges just hadn’t grown into what we saw as ‘fashion’, however, seeing the women in the office on my first day of work, I think maybe poor dress sense is a Spanish thing. Middle-aged women dressed in floral dresses that were all too short for their older bodies to pull off, combining that with make-up that looked like they hadn’t taken off since the 80’s. I arrived, business chic, being the ‘sexy businesswomen’ I had always wanted to be. There I was in my tight black pencil skirt, peplum top (highlighting my now D-cup breasts) and ‘office’ stilettos, looking more like I was going out for drinks than a day in the office. Maybe acceptable in London, but here, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

If I’m honest, my first day at work was crap. That’s the only way to put it. My boss, Raquel, looked at me like a piece of shit and told me to unpack her boxes into her new desk. As I stumbled around in my heels and tight skirt unloading these many crates, I thought to myself ‘Is this really a marketing internship? No’. So after my first day, I am referring to her as the ‘office bitch’, but hopefully this will change over time.