DAY 213: La Visita de Isabel

Having not seen my friend Izzy since the end of uni last year, I was so excited on Friday for her to come and visit from where she is Barcelona. After arriving early evening, the first thing we did was crack open a bottle of red in preparation for the long catch up we desperately needed and then headed to one of my favourite restaurants in Madrid, Tartufo.

The rest of the weekend I had to put on my tour guide cap and I was fairly proud of what I could remember and how to get to places....my sense of direction isn´t the best and the invention of google maps on your phone is normally of big use to me. We started off by going to the Royal Palace which is absolutely huge. Each monarch had about three big rooms for wardrobe, sleeping and "chilling" and the decor was detailed with gold, paintings and intricate patterns on the walls. The next stop was for a fro-yo and a wander before a good old siesta and a night out. 

Bringing Izzy into the Puerta del Sol (the place where it all happens) at 1.30am, we scrounged around for promoters who all wanted us to go to their particular club. After almost being persuaded to go to a place called Palace, we decided it wasn´t really our scene. He originally started his spiel with how it was house and electronic music and when we asked if there was commercial stuff he just agreed with us as to get us in. It´s probably pretty clear by now that that´s not really my thing and Izzy, being a big fan of The Den, Floritas and Dirty Pop in Newcastle, was on the same level. After then telling this random guy that the club, Joy, was shit, we ended up there, with an awkward moment of seeing him in the club and eating my words. However, it turned into a great night, with a bit of hat-stealing, running away from creepy Spanish men and dancing like we did in the toon. A night out with Izzy has never been a dull one. 

Surprisingly, we felt less hungover on Sunday morning than we did on Saturday.....it seems to be that one glass of wine now can have a serious effect on how my head feels the next morning. The first stop for us that day was El Rastro, Spain´s biggest flea market and I´m really glad we went because Izzy seemed to really enjoy it. The best stall we came across was a crown stall and we spent a good 15 minutes taking selfies whilst trying them on before the owner started to realise that we were in fact not going to buy anything. We did think, however, it was a weirdly good look, that sort of elfish look that maybe could be taken as a new fashion statement in Newcastle....that´s "edgy" right?

Afterwards, we met up with our fellow course mate, Minna, for some good old Mexican food and then headed to the Prado museum, where I tried my best to be "cultural" and explain to Izzy my favourite paintings. I think the best I came up with though was "so this painting is famous". A walk through the beautiful Retiro Park was then on the cards before the lovely Spanish sunset hit, ending the night in El Tigre, one of my favourite bars in Madrid where you get mojitos the size of your head with platefuls of free food alongside. Oh, and then we had another fro-yo. 

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend, potentially one of my favourites, and we are already planning now a trip to Murcia...although with 5 weeks left, I´m not sure how possible that will be.

Work is dull but it´s only a 3 day week this week and tomorrow I am off to La Rioja with Liz...the land of the Spanish wine! 

DAY 65: Los Coños

Life here is pretty awesome but I do have to rant a little about Spain and the Spanish.

1. MEN. Oh my God I HATE Spanish men. They are vile and disgusting perverts. They just think it´s acceptable to shout things at you in the street or hiss at you because you look foreign. It is so disgusting. I don´t really get what they expect you to do either. Is it like, "Oh!! You yelled at me on the street/from your car/in the shop/in a café...let´s just have sex RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. I want you baby." Seriously, what do they expect? Am I meant to be flattered? It is horrible and makes me feel so cheap and scared. It really does suck being a girl. Mother´s tip for this one: wear a burkha.
2. SLOWNESS. I can´t get over how slow people do EVERYTHING here. It´s like a population of tortoises and snails. At work, they´ll give me a task, and I´ll do it, and they´ll be like "oh that was quick!" And I´m like, "err not really, how long does it take to stick a few labels on some envelopes?" If I ask to get something done, then like 2 weeks later it happens. In restaurants and cafés it´s bad as well. You will go up to the bar, wait whilst they chat to their friends, they´ll ask what you want, start making it, then go ask someone else what they want, then chat to their friends, then start making the other persons drink, then finish yours, then finish the other persons, then ask you for money, then serves someone else and then finally they take your money. I´m not a very patient person so this is all just pretty shit. 
3. MY LANDLORD. So I have never really dealt with my landlord, everything goes through this woman at work, who I have to say (is a bit of a retard). I am still yet to pay my rent bills for the two months I´ve been here and they just don´t seem to care. I have sent emails and emails asking how I pay, and all this woman emails me back with is the landlord´s name, useful? NO. I bumped into her the other day and I asked her again and she goes "what else do you need?" I´m like "what do you think I bloody need? You can´t send money over the internet via one name.." Eventually she sent me his details, but without a bill or anything and none of it makes any sense. Basically the jist of it all is is she´s a retard and he´s a retard and sucks for them being both retards because no money is flying anywhere their way....not that they seem to care..
4. WHY ARE SPANISH PEOPLE THIN? They eat so much. Breakfast before work (perhaps cereal or something), breakfast at work (muffin/pain au chocalat/churros), 3 course lunch, tapas (all fatty and fried). I mean seriously, I am really quite happy I cater for myself as I am on my way to becoming a whale.
5. TECHNOLOGY. Websites for gyms etc don´t have prices. Bank websites don´t have opening hours. You cannot get wifi in a house unless you have a landline. They sell cheap knock off chargers that don´t work with iPhones. The email system is way behind. As a bit of an obsessive with technology (especially with my mobile phone), I don´t like this.
6. RUDENESS. The Spanish are known for being slightly rude. I guess to themselves they are not rude, but to everyone else in Europe they seem rude. They find it funny that I say "please" and "thank you" all the time and think that I am so polite. They don´t say "will you do this?" or "would you do this please?". They just say do it. They speak in quite an aggressive manner. It took me a while to get used to this. At first I just thought everyone was just a cunt. Actually, that´s another thing...they swear ALL THE TIME. Now I´m not someone to lack in the swearing department but there´s a time and a place. They swear in schools, in the office, it wouldn´t surprised me if they swore in church. Literally, I was helping out at an important event a few weeks ago and one of the big boss men just entered the meeting going "qué coño"...translated as "what a cunt". No one batted an eyelash/eyelid (I can´t remember what that phrase is...awkward).
7. DRIVING. They can´t drive. Rich coming from me, but they can´t. They don´t indicate, they don´t stop at red lights and they just beep their horns. I´m surprised I haven´t died yet.

Rant over. Happy weekend all!

DAY 57: La Prostituta

Sometimes I feel like I´m a prostitute. Not because I ask people to pay me for sex (although that would come in handy given my current financial situation) but because when I go out for drinks I literally just stand around the streets waiting for someone to proposition me with flyers for free drinks. It sounds sad, and of course when I say this I´m not implying I do this alone, but it does actually work. So take last night for example, Andrew and I went out for some vino and got some free shots, some free drinks and a free shisha. We did, however,  have to pay for some of our drinks....what a pain :P. There´s this wine bar near Sol which gives you large glasses of wine for 1 euro a glass....so of course we ordered 2 each at the same time and poured one into another...we know how to play this game. Andrew and I also really know how to lower the class in any situation. There was a cute wee old British couple sitting in front of us who were obviously out to have a nice wee evening together. Without realising at first that they were in fact English, I started telling Andrew about a story I heard from Castle Leazes when I first arrived in Newcastle....I may as well repeat the story now for those of you who don´t know it:

"There once was a girl who went back with a guy after a night out to have a bit of fun. In the morning, she snibbed the door and went to the loo where she took a massive shit. Blocking the toilet, she (strangely) decided to fish out the poo with a plastic bag (I really don´t understand this...I personally would have just run...). She then proceeded to carry the poo in the bag to find a bin. On her way to the bin she went back into the guy´s room to pick up her things and leave and also wrote him a wee note saying something like ´Thanks for last night. I had fun. Here´s my number´(this a very polite girl)! She left the note beside his bed whilst he was sleeping and left, unsnibbing the door. Now of course us ex-leazes folk will remember the big drama of locking yourself out your room if the door is left unsnibbed. (Too many funny images of students having to go down to reception in their towels after forgetting their keys). So anyway, as she left, she suddenly realised she had left her bag of shit beside the note! What a lovely ´reward´ for the ´lucky´guy to wake up to after a night of drunken sex."

SO, yes I told Andrew this (far too strange and unrealistic to be true) story or "myth" in the bar and the old couple literally looked at me like a piece of filth. As I said, I really know how to bring down the class in any situation. Andrew and I downed our drinks and left.

Woke up this morning feeling a little bit ropey, but thats nothing some Irn Bru imported from Edinburgh Airport at the weekend can´t solve! I bought two bottles at W H Smith...you know...the little 2 for such a price offer that you get there....and drank one on my flight and "saved" the other one for Liz, who is also Scottish and who I´m sure also misses the bru (who wouldn´t?!). However, when I´m hungover, my thoughts for others just fly completely out the window, so sorry Liz, you can wait another month until the beautiful bright orange soda hits your lips again!

I was on Skype to my friend Felicity yesterday who asked me a very important question. "Sarah, do you actually do anything cultural, you know, besides going to work and drinking?" So this is embarrassing, no I don´t Felicity. No I don´t. What is my life? Uni sends you to a foreign country to learn a language and some culture....I´m really failing at life right now. It also makes me laugh how uni gives you money to go (not that I have received it yet). Surely they must know what most of that money is spent on? a...l...c...o...h...o...l. Saying that, my friend Rosie made a very important purchase with her grant...a wee designer handbag! Seriously, only Rosie would do this...bloody model. Andrew was also telling me last night about someone he knows who literally got a nose job with hers! When in Rome right?

DAY 26: La Semana

So haven't written in a while so best get crackin' on my past week. It's definitely been a week of ups and downs!

Monday and Tuesday I'm not going to lie, were pretty shit. I was feeling very homesick and lonely and I really missed everyone back home! However, things change. On Wednesday, I went for a very spontaneous night out with Andrew. We were doing a bit of a bar crawl and picking up leaflets from people in the street. One girl brought us to a club which was completely free for girls - this is what I love about Spain! Andrew had to pay 10 euros to get in but with that he got 2 drinks for whatever he wanted. I, on the other hand, was just given a glass to refill and refill - I chose gin and tonic, because I'm just so classy.... We then went to this bar called Starstudio which I had been to 3 years ago. The place has transformed so much. We arrived, and again being a girl, I got a free mojito ;) Everyone was dancing and we got up on this podium and belted out the tunes, which included the Proclaimers....best song ever for a Scottish person when you're drunk. Suddenly, these people were up on the bar, dressed up as LMFAO, they stripped off down to their pants and everyone went mad. Then we got funnels of cava poured down our throats (again all free) and then there was a competition on the bar for girls to 'shake their booties'...I did not compete...that would not have been a good experience for anyone's eyes! Of course at 6pm, we found ourselves in McDonalds before walking back home. As I said by to Andrew I go 'I don't even feel that drunk! I have to get up in a hour, I'll just stay awake..' So, if you've read a previous blog of mine, that sounds very familiar...and yes, again, I did sleep in and miss work! I need to grow up. However, I told my boss I had just 'forgotten to set my alarm' and she told me to come and work a bit later. It was fine and she wasn't angry at all....PHEW.

Friday was a good night as well. I met up with Liz and some of her friends from when she was in Spain three years ago. They were so much fun. Embracing the Spanish lifestyle, we went for dinner at midnight! Crazy, but that is so normal here! I drank so much wine, and I could feel myself getting pissed again. Liz stayed over on Friday and both of us woke up in the morning, heads aching and feeling numb. There were doritos in the bed, Liz was in her pants and my bag looked as though it had just been thrown across the room. I'm not even lying when I say that I stayed in bed until 8pm that day! Laziest person ever. Anyway, it was then time to get back on it, but this night was not the best....Lara came round for drinks which was fun and we chatted about everything, basically telling each other our life stories and drunkenly getting emotional. We then met up with another girl, Sarah, in a place called Tribunal where she was hanging out with some Spanish dudes. Now I'm quite an open-minded person and these people were lovely, don't get me wrong...but...if I say that they were all long-haired, pierced and tattooed, the picture of me in a blue and gold sparkly top and full face of make up, probably doesn't pop into mind. We had a drink with them in a bar and then I really decided I wanted to go home. I hailed a taxi and ended the evening watching X Factor!

I went on a wee walking tour by myself today to just get to know the city a bit better. It really is a beautiful city with so much to offer. I bought some Spanish food from a wee market, looked in a few shops, and then chilled at Lara's for a bit.

In terms of work, things are slowly getting better. I have been really struggling with it and it is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like the team think I am so stupid! However, I asked my boss, Mabel, if I could have a little meeting with her about what's expected of me and just to say how I was feeling about things. It's a good thing I did! She asked me: 'So how long have you been here now Sarah?' '3 weeks'. She had such a shocked expression on her face. She for some reason thought that I had been in the other department for 5 months! She apologised and apologised to me because she had been treating me like I knew everything, when really I am pretty clueless. At least now they will understand why I'm so crap.

What I've learnt about Spain so far is that it really is behind the times on everything. I mean this in terms of the corporate world and in terms of lifestyle and culture. Technologically they are not as advanced, things close so early, everyone is late all the time and the men really do like to shout things at you. It's great in some ways because I love seeing different cultures and I like the way they stay true to their traditions, however, as I've said before, there is a reason why they suffer so much economically and a lot of it comes down to the fact that they are just not progressing with the rest of the us.

DAY 9: Los Chicos

IT'S FRIDAY!!!! Slaw is happy happy happy.

So, I completed my first week of work and I have to say, I'm a little bit proud of myself. The work is really not that enjoyable and I honestly cannot stand the women I work with. They're so unfriendly and look down on me so much and literally I just want to be like 'er...fuck you.' However, on Monday, I've been told I'm moving departments to Events Management, which is apparently a lot more fun. Adios putas! 

I have met some lovely work people though and yesterday had a massive lunch with a few of them. I'm also meeting a couple of the girls on Sunday for sushi, so that's good - the social life is expanding!

I do have a particular highlight of work today. Sitting at my desk, this man suddenly appeared and said 'Hola Sarah.' Who was he? I didn't know, but, he was BEAUTIFUL. He was very Spanish looking, and I take back my previous thought about not finding Spanish men that attractive. He stood there, tanned skin, wavy black hair, shirt unbuttoned and a wee cravat. BEAUTIFUL. So, who was he? Ah, it was Pedro - my dad's friend from work who had got me this internship - gotta love a cheeky connection. Pedro took me down to his office and was very welcoming. He kept asking me questions but I literally could not bring any words to my mouth. It was so embarrasing! I almost felt a bit like Anastasia Steele when she first meets Christian Grey, but without the chains, whips and handcuffs of course! (Girls, you know what I'm referring to..boys..the porn of the female world, Fifty Shades of Grey)! I was on the phone to my dad after work and told him how BEAUTIFUL Pedro was. He then goes 'Now, I don't want you being flirty Sazzer - he's married with kids.' Dad, do you think I'm some kind of home-wrecking slut? He's also like 45! Just nice to have some eye candy!

As I said though, Spanish men usually are not very appealing to me. They are so pervy and as you walk past go either 'ssssssssss' or 'you. are. beautiful.' It creeps me out. It's like they almost expect me to turn around and go 'yeah boy, lets have sex, right now.' Ew, no thank you. British boys, however, if you want to tell me I'm beautiful then I will more than welcome that compliment - although I do not see that happening!

Now there's a cafe/bar opposite my flat which I went to by myself the other day. I ordered a beer and tortilla and sat in the sun with my book. The waiter was very 'friendly'...he asked me for my name, where I lived and how long I'm here for and wanted to 'kiss me goodbye' when I left. I have to pass it everyday on the way to work, so whenever I see him standing outside and about to come over, I look the other way or as what everyone does in these kind of 'not wanting to talk to you situations'...pretend I'm on my phone!

Enough about boys and my vanity at being 'admired' though. Tonight I'm off drinking. I met Lara and Christian yesterday and they were really cool. A couple of beers yesterday, and (hopefully) a few more tonight! Cerveza Cerveza Cerveza!

DAY 6: La economía

In the tough financial times that we've had over the recent years, some might ask why the Spanish economy is especially bad...I think I could give the explanation a fair go without going into too much detail about GDP and GNP and all that other stuff that I am meant to know from uni...

1. Everything in the workplace is done 'luego'. This means 'later'. You ask for something to be done and then ooh two days later they are working on it.
2. They all sleep in the afternoons - the typical Spanish 'siesta'. Does any work get done in this time? No. Instead, let's just have a beer over a massive lunch and then go to sleep for a couple of hours as working at 2pm is just too stressful.
3. The banks shut at 2.30pm. That means you have half an hour from the start of your siesta at 2pm to run to the bank before it closes. Does it reopen again? Very rarely. Can you go in your spare time at the weekend? Paha!
4. Work starts at 9am, but at 11am it's time for another breakfast. A good 45 minutes of work lost again.
5. Spanish women don't like English girls. Say you have a 20 year old English girl working as an unpaid intern for you, it is advisable to look at them with pity like an animal at the zoo. Teamwork - nah!
6. Spanish men like English girls. More time is spent looking at their breasts than looking at the computer screen.

Just an observation!