DAY 71: La Reina de Etiquetas y Tostada

I literally am the Queen of label-making...what an honour....:S So this week has been pretty hectic at work and I must have made and printed (and stuck on) about 1000 address labels (wooooo JUST LOVE MY JOB.....). It´s not actually too bad, well the making them on Word isn´t too bad, but sticking them on envelopes really is quite dire...at least I have my ipod. Anyway, I got pissed off yesterday, long story short, two girls took credit for MY enveloping "skills", when I had done about 200 and they had done about 5. Fucking wanks. It´s the most stupid thing to get annoyed about, but still...labelling and enveloping is pretty much my life at the moment....VIVA ESPAÑA..

The week in summary though unfortunately has not been that eventful. Last Friday I went out for lunch with a few of the girls from work, which was pretty nice except I was in a foul mood and just wanted to sleep. I swear I also got killed in the car one of them was driving. The Spaniards literally are just mental drivers...I could never survive. We got into the car and when Gabi turned on the ignition, dance beats started blaring and she just goes "oops sorry that´s for when I´m drunk". So great, in a car with a casual drunk driver....I put my seatbelt on. Apart from that my life has mainly been slobbing, working, cleaning my apartment (eh eh) and beer-ing. Lara and I drank beers out of mugs on Tuesday afternoon which was a nice way to serve them...fair to say, a beer in the afternoon makes me oh so sleepy and I was in bed before 9.15....clearly getting old. Sanderson and I went out for beers and dinner last night as well (eating far too fucking much...I literally look like a whale atm) and then decided it would be good to stop off at the corner shop on the way back to mine. I´ve had to avoid this place recently as I have been using it far too much. I go there for one of three things: chocolate, cigarettes or tortilla...and I am usually always alone. The guy even said that to me once: "you are always alone"....what a sad life I do leave, let me just go back to my cave and cry about my despair of having no friends....however, I now think that he thinks I´m a lesbian. Both times I´ve been there recently have been with either Liz or Sanderson and both times it´s been late and we´ve been tipsy....just bringing back yet another girl to my lair....

Sanderson really did get a full on spooning last night from me (although she didn´t know this as she was passed out). It´s just nicer when there is someone there to put your leg over...sounding kind of like a creepy lesbo slut now...

Again, I am unsure of plans for this weekend but NEXT WEEKEND I´m having a flat party....ooh yeah. Kinda worried though, as my flat really does smell, I could see Sanderson flinching when we came in last night. That´s the bad thing about living alone...no one to tidy up for (plus side: you can be lazy if you want, which is what I do....down side: yeah you live in a stink hole).

Oh and the highlight of my week (and this truly proves how boring my life has been recently); I found a toaster in the top cupboard of my kitchen...HALLELUJAH...as long as I don´t buy another tub of Canembert to melt and spread it over the bread like the other day (nom nom)...I don´t see the problem in indulging in one of the easiest and yet most satisfying foods there is. (Yes, I love toast). 

DAY 34: La Patata

I mentioned in a previous blog that when the other girls were dancing on the bar, I refrained, as to save people´s eyes. However, things change. On Friday night Rosie and I found ourselves up on the air above everyone, acting as though we fucking ruled the club. We also hopped on a podium thing and no one would dare even ask us to come down because yeah, we were fucking awesome ;) All in all it was a very good night, drinking almost an entire bottle of vodka between us, stealing shots at the bar and dancing away until it was time for a much deserved pizza slice! We arrived back at the flat (with Andrew) at about 3.30am (far too early for España) so continued to drink until we decided Mean Girls was all of a sudden a good idea :/ Munching away on doritos and salsa and a pizza I tried cooking in the microwave that literally turned black and tasted vile, we all lay in bed, laptop in front of us and loaded Mean Girls. Rosie and I woke up about 11am - Andrew was gone, the bed covered in crumbs and the titles of Mean Girls playing on my laptop...neither of us remembered watching any of it...pretty sure we all just passed out, oops. 

So you would think that as I had a friend to stay we would be proactive in doing touristy things, sight-seeing, walking, exploring the city...ok we did go and get some tapas (being all ´cultural´ and all) but really we spent most of the next day watching episodes and episodes of Breaking Bad. Yes, I am only JUST getting into it...so please stay hush! Saturday night involved slobbing in front of the tv even more, watching The X Factor and gorging on cheese. Sunday was shopping day! I say shopping day when in actual fact we only went to one shop, Sephora, spending so much time painting lipsticks and eyeliners on our hands and buying much more than we should have. For some reason I bought this sparkly fake tan that you can also put in your hair to make it ´sparkle´. Not such a great idea, my hair is not sparkly but instead a greasy, sticky mess...good thinking Sarah! We had a pizza for lunch and then decided to fat ourselves up even more by ordering a chinese for dinner. Seriously, I feel like I need to get liposuction! Diet starts today! 

So all in all it was a pretty fun weekend. Great chat and gossip (what else would you expect from two girls who haven´t seen each other for a few months), lots of wine, a lot of dancing (we were still complaining about our aching legs yesterday....we just worked our bootays so hard) and a lot A LOT of food. I am officially a potato.

DAY 26: La Semana

So haven't written in a while so best get crackin' on my past week. It's definitely been a week of ups and downs!

Monday and Tuesday I'm not going to lie, were pretty shit. I was feeling very homesick and lonely and I really missed everyone back home! However, things change. On Wednesday, I went for a very spontaneous night out with Andrew. We were doing a bit of a bar crawl and picking up leaflets from people in the street. One girl brought us to a club which was completely free for girls - this is what I love about Spain! Andrew had to pay 10 euros to get in but with that he got 2 drinks for whatever he wanted. I, on the other hand, was just given a glass to refill and refill - I chose gin and tonic, because I'm just so classy.... We then went to this bar called Starstudio which I had been to 3 years ago. The place has transformed so much. We arrived, and again being a girl, I got a free mojito ;) Everyone was dancing and we got up on this podium and belted out the tunes, which included the Proclaimers....best song ever for a Scottish person when you're drunk. Suddenly, these people were up on the bar, dressed up as LMFAO, they stripped off down to their pants and everyone went mad. Then we got funnels of cava poured down our throats (again all free) and then there was a competition on the bar for girls to 'shake their booties'...I did not compete...that would not have been a good experience for anyone's eyes! Of course at 6pm, we found ourselves in McDonalds before walking back home. As I said by to Andrew I go 'I don't even feel that drunk! I have to get up in a hour, I'll just stay awake..' So, if you've read a previous blog of mine, that sounds very familiar...and yes, again, I did sleep in and miss work! I need to grow up. However, I told my boss I had just 'forgotten to set my alarm' and she told me to come and work a bit later. It was fine and she wasn't angry at all....PHEW.

Friday was a good night as well. I met up with Liz and some of her friends from when she was in Spain three years ago. They were so much fun. Embracing the Spanish lifestyle, we went for dinner at midnight! Crazy, but that is so normal here! I drank so much wine, and I could feel myself getting pissed again. Liz stayed over on Friday and both of us woke up in the morning, heads aching and feeling numb. There were doritos in the bed, Liz was in her pants and my bag looked as though it had just been thrown across the room. I'm not even lying when I say that I stayed in bed until 8pm that day! Laziest person ever. Anyway, it was then time to get back on it, but this night was not the best....Lara came round for drinks which was fun and we chatted about everything, basically telling each other our life stories and drunkenly getting emotional. We then met up with another girl, Sarah, in a place called Tribunal where she was hanging out with some Spanish dudes. Now I'm quite an open-minded person and these people were lovely, don't get me wrong...but...if I say that they were all long-haired, pierced and tattooed, the picture of me in a blue and gold sparkly top and full face of make up, probably doesn't pop into mind. We had a drink with them in a bar and then I really decided I wanted to go home. I hailed a taxi and ended the evening watching X Factor!

I went on a wee walking tour by myself today to just get to know the city a bit better. It really is a beautiful city with so much to offer. I bought some Spanish food from a wee market, looked in a few shops, and then chilled at Lara's for a bit.

In terms of work, things are slowly getting better. I have been really struggling with it and it is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like the team think I am so stupid! However, I asked my boss, Mabel, if I could have a little meeting with her about what's expected of me and just to say how I was feeling about things. It's a good thing I did! She asked me: 'So how long have you been here now Sarah?' '3 weeks'. She had such a shocked expression on her face. She for some reason thought that I had been in the other department for 5 months! She apologised and apologised to me because she had been treating me like I knew everything, when really I am pretty clueless. At least now they will understand why I'm so crap.

What I've learnt about Spain so far is that it really is behind the times on everything. I mean this in terms of the corporate world and in terms of lifestyle and culture. Technologically they are not as advanced, things close so early, everyone is late all the time and the men really do like to shout things at you. It's great in some ways because I love seeing different cultures and I like the way they stay true to their traditions, however, as I've said before, there is a reason why they suffer so much economically and a lot of it comes down to the fact that they are just not progressing with the rest of the us.

DAY 16: La Ley

I woke up this morning in my bra and tights, contacts still in making me half blind and make up still on. There was a half eaten bowl of pasta next to me and all the lights were on. I looked at my watch, it said 12pm and I honestly thought it was just broken. So then I looked at my phone and nope, it was 12pm - I had missed work!

So last night I was invited out for drinks with some of the office people. I really didn't want to go. I just imagined a bunch of older accountants having a couple of beers and being home before 12. With what I just described to you as my morning, clearly, I was wrong! I met Isabel and a couple of others at the metro stop and we walked to this nearby bar where everyone was wearing nice dresses and heels .... I was in a blue shirt and denim shorts (which I have somehow ripped). Anyway, the alcohol was free and I was very shy and nervous, so there was really no other option than to drink a lot. Everyone talked to me in English, probably not the point of me being here but hey, and they wanted to know all about the UK and how it's different to Spain. I then got onto a conversation about the differences between Spanish boys and English boys and Spanish girls and English girls. So this guy said to me 'This is how we perceive the British. You will agree with what I say about boys but you will get angry with what I say about the girls.' I nudged him on. 'English boys are...how you say.....assholes?' I agreed. 'And well erm, English girls, I think the word is...easy?' I laughed. 'You're not angry?' he said. 'Not at all. It's true.' And so there we go first impression made, I'm a slag. 

So after a couple of beers, a couple of sangrias, and a treble gin and tonic (yeah it's not just Newcastle folks ;) ), Fernando, crazy crazy Fernando ordered 5 shots of whisky and says to me. 'You're Scottish. You've got to show us how it's done.' Christ. I thought he was meaning I had to do all the shots! Luckily not, they were for other people as well. That did not go down well. 

We were in this bar until about 2am (early in Spain), drinking, smoking inside, dancing, eating...it was so much fun, and everyone was trying to teach me Spanish swearwords. Fernando, crazy crazy Fernando, told me that if I wanted to say that I'm drunk, I can use the word 'mamoda' (I think). However, this has two meanings, the first being 'I'm drunk' like he said, and the second, the meaning he did not to tell me, was basically 'I want to blow you'. Great. So as I said it to people I got a lot of looks like 'alright calm down you Scottish slag' until I was finally told otherwise!

We headed to a club around 2.30am which was really good fun and it was at this point I just became a total mess. It's that moment in the night where just don't care how stupid you look. I was jumping on people, stealing people's hats, taking photos and apparently...sending my friends snapchats of me on the toilet?? I really know how to stay classy. Suddenly it was 5.30am and it was time to go. We all walked out, which at this point I realised all the girls I was hanging with had gone, and it was just me and the boys. Anyway, I really don't know how this happened but I got into a political debate with this guy about the UK and Spain. I say political debate but it was really just him winding me up well with me drunkenly yelling 'yeah but you're country is in so much shit, the UK rule all'. What an embarrassment! I forget sometimes how angry I can get when I'm drunk...some of you will know this all too well! The argument eventually ended after I realised he was just taking the piss out of me and we ended up hugging being like 'I LOVE YOOOOOU'. Typical. 

I remember coming home at 6am and laughing so much and practially talking to myself going 'ah I have an hour to sleep. Hehehe. I'm so naughty. Hehehe.' Now I swear I set my alarm...but erm, clearly I was far too pissed. SO my boss is going to be happy on Monday.....

Oh, and I better mention, I called this blog 'La Ley' because that is what they have all started calling me. It means Law in Spanish. I quite liked it, because because I was 'the law', everyone had to play by my rules...which means, next time I go out with Fernando, he has promised to wear a skirt to represent a true Scotsman ;) yeah buddy.