DAY 135: Sanderson

Well after a horrendous week at work of office fuck-ups, people I wanted to slap and some mind-numbingly boring tasks, I was so so so ready for Friday. I met Rosie after work in Starbucks where she was waiting after her flight had come in and we went for a big fatty pizza lunch and it was gorgeous. We also indulged in a bottle of wine which lead to a very sleepy Sarah who had a siesta in the afternoon, waking up with a massive cock drawn on my face by Rosie 2 hours later - great. 

That night, it was time to celebrate Sanderson´s birthday and I had offered to have the party in my flat seeing as Sanderson lives way out in Alcala. It was good and very loud, and luckily the neighbours didn´t complain this time! There were 3 neck nominations, one of which was me drinking whisky and vodka through a straw whilst doing a handstand...fair to say, it did not end very smoothly. Anyway, we left at about 1am in order to get the last metro into town but by 2 metro stops down, it was fair to say that Sanderson just wasn´t going to make it out. As we all carried her out of the metro and into the street, causing a lot of attention from the locals who looked at us British folk with disgust, Sanderson proceeded to chunder and we all knew that really she wasn´t going to make it into the club. So, off Rosie, Emma and I left, leaving the others behind, to take Sanderson back to mine. As we reached mine, Sanderson had completely gone by this point and the taxi driver had to help us carry her up to my apartment. I have to say, it did feel a little bit like we were carrying a dead body. At mine, I threw glasses of water over her to wake her up (and to half amuse me) at which she woke up and replied "stop chundering on me"...oh Sanderson. Anyway, she got to bed, slept it off and Rosie and I got pizza and danced around to One Direction for a couple of hours....taking the party with of us of course (even if it was One Direction..). 

Sanderson wasn´t even hungover in the morning, much to Rosie and I´s disappointment who were feeling the effects of last night´s pre. Anyway, we did get ourselves up though to do something "cultural" as last time Rosie was here, we missed that part out. Of course first we decided to have a nice lunch though and surprised ourselves greatly by ordering a salad....this never happens on a hangover. I then attempted to take Rosie on a tour of Madrid, telling her that a cathedral was the Royal Palace and that a mosque was a cathedral and so on....god, I´m great at this stuff. We ended up at Madrid´s Egyptian temple "El Templo de Debod", which really isn´t as facinating as it sounds. All it is is like 3 small walls with a wee moat around it. But you know, at least we were doing something. Soon it was time to head back to the flat for yet another siesta, which turned into a good 4 hour sleep. We needed it though, as we were determined to have a proper night out this time. 

We went to this club called Joy, which is an old theatre and looks really cool. It played all the classic songs you could sing a long to and we found this amazing man who had some incredible dance moves...oh he was hilarious. We even got on the stage with him at one point just because we thought he was so cool. Surprisingly though, Rosie and I did not feel the slightest bit drunk. We had had 3 gin and tonics in the space of an hour before we left, 2 strong vodka red bulls when we first came to the club, and then a jaegar and another strong gin and tonic later on. We just did not understand why it wasn´t hitting us. Sanderson was being very sensible this night and sipped on one gin and tonic for about 4 hours. 

Waking up the next morning, we didn´t feel ill but just exhausted and proceeded to spend the entire day in bed watching episodes and episodes of 90120 on Netflix...shit show but addicting. There was a small trip out to lunch but it didn´t last long and we were quickly back in bed after being practically blown away by the strong wind and drenched by the rain. Seriously, the weather at the moment in Madrid is horrendous. Should probably just move back to Scotland where it likely to be nicer. 

So I´ve probably gained about 2 stone this weekend as we have literally eaten so much pizza, ice-cream, sweets and cheetos....(the guy at the corner shop must have thought we were weird with the amount of cheetos we kept going in to buy..but they are just sooo goooood). Attempting to detox a bit this week, but knowing me it will probably only last a day. I really am an unstoppable fatty. 

Hate Mondays and I am exhausted, but hopefully work this week is just a tad better...if not, could be getting into trouble for wacking someone in the face...really need to stay reserved.

DAY 122: Cheryl Cole

Well got the nose piercing and being classic Slaw, drama was involved. The actual piercing didn´t really hurt but it was quite scary when I was left alone with a big, fat, bald tattooed man coming at me with a massive needle. Anyway, all was dandy and I left the piercing place with Sanderson to head for some drinks. As we walked away I suddenly felt really faint so I asked Sanderson if we could sit on a ledge on the side of the street for a while. Fine. Got up, started walking again, and the next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor in the middle of the street with a crowd of people around me. Great - I had fainted. My first thought was, oh shit my bag, being in Madrid you can never be too careful, so I flung it at Sanderson and sat there in despair. The police where also there and blatantly thought I was just some classic drunk British girl and I felt kind of lame saying to them that I had just had my nose pierced, complete pussy. What made the situation (funnier?) was that this was all bam in the middle of Madrid´s prostitute street. Not really the best place to pass out. After then throwing up in police station closeby and sitting down for a while, I decided it was time to go and eat something (wise) and drink something (not so wise). Anyway, I really like it!

Friday night was chilled as the couple drinks with Sanderson had turned into quite a few drink and a late night, resulting in death at the office the next day. Liz and I watched The Wolf of Wall Street at mine which I loved and was hilarious but just too bloody long. I have to say I drifted in and out a bit. We did get a lesbian crush on the main girl in it though...stunning face, stunning tits, stunning body...ugh...I want to look like her. 

On Saturday we headed out to Salamanca, about 8 of us who knew each other and then a bunch of others we didn´t know - have to say, all pretty annoying. There were these girls who literally thought they were they were THE SHIT and I was just like "err no, fuck off". There was this one girl in particular I just didn´t like, without really having a reason for. We went into one of the shots bars on the bar crawl in the evening and were told to order "mamadas" (blow jobs) or otherwise just a shot you have to drink without your hands. First time I´ve ever asked for a blow job at a bar I have to say! Anyway, as we were going in, this stupid girl was like "it´s ok guys, I know how to do this" and I was like "shhh you´re like 12, piss off". She was pretty thick as well...later on the night she was getting with my friend Jai and kept asking him if he was Mexican. As he replied "no" on several occasions, saying that he was actually from London, she goes "oh so where in Mexico is London?" Seriously girl , just go. ANYWAY, rant over. 

Salamanca was great fun though and so so beautiful. We took so many "tourist snaps" and in the evening did a bar crawl where...O...M....G...after 4 months of requesting that they play Cheryl Cole in a club....THEY FINALLY PLAYED IT. Omg - highlight guys! The routine was wapped out and everything ;) God, I´m obsessed. Sanderson asked me yesterday if my highlight of Madrid so far was having Cheryl Cole played in a club or Mabel having the same skirt as me (I discovered yesterday)....and it was just a really hard decision. Oh my life. I really am a complete loser. 

DAY 117: El Cumpleaños

Well nightmare this morning having the top come off my water bottle on the way to work and soaking every single item in my brand new Michael Kors handbag. Shit times. At least it´s only water and so the bag isn´t ruined but my phone charger I doubt is going to work. Dammit. 

So had my birthday night out last week and well it was probably one of the most drunken night´s in Madrid I´ve had so far, however, I did manage to stay out til 7am! Sent away from the door at first to go and ´sober up´, we went to McDonald´s round the corner, where I ate three measly chips and staggered around calling people outside. Eventually I was let in though and continued to drink telling every single person in the club that it was in fact my birthday. Every single DJ hated me and the Kareoke guy wouldn´t let me sing, probably because I kept trying to smoke inside, but hey, I had fun...from what I remember. 

The next day was a complete right off - see that´s what happens in your old age of 21, hangovers just get worse and worse. I couldn´t even make it to the shop next door so I had to make do with some horrible pasta I had tried...frying?!...when I had got home the night before. I was even tired the day after but did manage to get myself out of bed and walk round Madrid the whole day with a girl I met through my friend Jo, also called Sarah. 

There´s a new girl at work, but unlike the last one, she´s actually lovely! She´s German and 18 and I´ve loserishly taken on the role of her sort of ´mentor´being like "ahh yes I was the same when I first I arrived...I remember this...I remember that.." She´s probably thinking, "Sarah, please shut the fuck up, you´re not cool." But oh well. 

Luckily Mabel is back so things are a bit better. Her birthday was the day before mine and I gave her a wee tartan scarf from Scotland which she seems to really like. She goes to me "Sarah we´re like twins with our Scottish clothes and almost matching birthdays" and I´m like " I wish Mabel, I wish". The girl crush is never ending...

Emma and I went to a Scottish bar last night, literally just named "Scottish Pub" - how original. However, as we went in, expecting to find irn bru and haggis (a girl can dream right?) we realised that it was just a very typical Spanish bar and we and an old Spanish man were it´s only customers. Beginning the night chatting all girl talk - mostly boys and tinder - the bar man then decided to quiz us on our opinions on Scotland´s independence and other political things and the Royal family. It was fun though and by the end of the night he was telling us to go out there and have fun and have some flings with Spanish boys.

Off to Salamanca this weekend with some friends, which will hopefully be better than last time I was there, with my horrific school exchange, who never smiled and was just an incredibly awkward person. Also going to get my nose pierced today...feeling a bit scared and worried it will get infected and give me some sort of disgusting looking witch´s wart on my nose but fingers crossed it´s ok! 

DAY 104: Santiago Bernabeu

So I´m not the biggest football fanatic, or the biggest sports fanatic in general, but it was time to hit up Santiago Bernabeu and go and see a Real Madrid match and I have to say, I loved it! The streets around the stadium were filled with people (mostly men) drinking beer and throwing fire-crackers (terrifying) and it was pretty clear that not only were we representing some of the only girls but we were also evidently British. In the stadium we were taking so many photos, befriending a random Spanish boy so we could pose with his flag and everyone was laughing at us, but oh well, in the modern day of Instagram, it needed to happen! So with little knowledge of what actually goes on at a football match, it started and I asked Sanderson (an avid football fan) why one of the players was just wearing all black. "That would be the referee Sarah...."....so yeah, great start! Anyway, after cheering my way through the match, catching up with mis amigas and screaming for beautiful Ronaldo, I said at the end "I really want to go to an Atletico match now!"....maybe it´s time that I finally get into football.

Mabel is off work at the moment and so is the girl down from her, so with no boss around you can imagine how even more relaxed and more unorganised the office is. Mabel is always quite good at explaining to me exactly what I need to do but yesterday I had someone explain to me a task which made no sense at all. I mean, the task made sense and was pretty straight forward as I´ve done it before, but this girl took a good 45 minutes to explain to me how to do something putting in some really irrelevant things and just complicating the matter. Really, I should just run this place!

I want to get a dog whilst I´m here and have actually been told I was allowed to by my mum (which was a real shock). It would give me some company and I could take it home with me afterwards, just perfect! However, let´s be honest, that´s just not going to happen...and what would I do with it at weekends I´m away. I do just miss my doggy back home so much :(

Off out tonight but trying to keep my new year´s resolution to drink less and a few other things with friends planned for the weekend. It´s not too hard a life eh?

DAY 101: Hola Madrid

Well first day back at work and I´ve already made a mistake. To be fair it wasn´t my fault - I was told to do something by someone which turned out to be wrong and then it messed up something for someone else and things have gone out to clients and so on...basically, it´s a pretty big shitty mistake. However, NOT MY FAULT so I am just going to move on from it...oopsies. It is quite nice being back though - getting all dressed up in my fancy work clothes, fannying around on a laptop and seeing all the girls again. Oh and of course there´s Mabel, beautiful Mabel. She comes over to my desk, looking gorgeous as per usual,  new highlights in her hair and gives me a massive hug and tells me how beautiful I am and hugs me again and asks me about Christmas - I just love her. I´m like ´babe, I´m not beautiful, you are´and it goes on like that, mwah mwah mwah, la la la, etc. 

Everything was closed yesterday when I arrived back as it was sort of like the Spanish Christmas Day where they celebrate the Three Kings coming (kind of instead of Santa). There were hardly any cars around and the streets were filled with leftover fireworks and sweet wrappers etc, however, of course, my wee 24 hour shop around the corner was open, just to save the day as I had zero food in the flat and was starving. 

It didn´t even feel that weird coming back, it just felt normal, like arriving back to where I lived - sounds really weird but I had expected it to feel a bit strange. I had forgotten that Spain has a smell. This isn´t just Madrid, I swear it just has this smell about it of hotter air and tapas. Again, sounds weird. I am weird. I didn´t get to sleep for ages last night, blaming it on my one hour time difference but yanno, I think I was just buzzing/was getting worked up about a certain person who pisses me off and couldn´t put my mind at rest. 

So apart from this fuck-up at work, of which was passing my time quite well, I´m back to doing nada - writing a blog, which I´m kind of bored of now and facebook stalking. Hola España. 

DAY 98: España

Things I Love About Spain:

1. My Boss. Have I mentioned that? Mabel - beautiful Mabel with her strong Irish accent when she speaks English, her fashionable clothes, her long gorgeous dip-dyed hair and her general just making me feel welcome in the office. She even got a wee Christmas card from me today. I love Mabel.
2. Food. Apart from the obese Brit that I am now becoming, the food here is delicioso. Spanish Omelette (Tortilla) - O.M.G - just beautiful. I became obsessed for a while, every time my friends would text me I´d be like ´just chillin, eating tortilla´. It´s my new hangover cure and I am going to make myself learn the recipe so I that I can share my tortilla love with people back home.
3. Nightlife. The allure of free drinks always gets me. I don´t care if it´s sexist, when a free drink is offered to you, you take it. I love the reggaeton music, bumpin and grinding and salsa dancing, and the fact that on several occasions now I have been up with the DJ - much to their annoyance and my anger at none of them knowing who Cheryl is.
4. Fernando. My crazy and good-looking pal from work. Always rocking up in his baggy shorts, messy hair and tattoos, offering me shots of whisky and begging me to buy him a kilt. Crazy crazy Fernando, or "Fer" as everyone calls him, except I don´t like that so to me he is FERNANDO. What a name.
5. The 24 hour shop with my wee pal Carlos who knows me now and who thinks I am a drunken mess, lesbian with emotions. Nevertheless, he is always a friendly face when I stroll around the corner to that shop either drunk or hungover to buy tortilla, coke and cigarettes. 
6. Alcala. I´d never heard of Alcala de Henares before, but seeing as two of my close mates out here live there, I am there all the time - eating their food and drinking their vino. As my dad said to me this morning "you´re Spanish experience really only seems to be that you drink and eat a lot". Yes Dad, it is.
7. Slaw and Sanderson Wednesdays. I had to mention this as Sanderson got upset last time when I didn´t mention her in my blog. So on a Wednesday, we now have (a probably very lame) tradition of eating too much food and drinking too much wine together. Yes, this has left us with fatter bodies, horrendous hangovers, stupid photos and embarrassing moments but we always have fun being the immature Sarahs that we are. We´ve made friends (Carlos from the 24 hour shop and a few waiters in a restaurant WE CAN NEVER GO BACK TO.....my fault....) and we´ve spooned on a ridiculous amount of occasions. The Slaw and Sanderson love will never die.
8. The Sun. Yeah it´s colder, and it´s not exactly tropical, but really almost everyday there is sunshine and for a girl from Scotland, that´s pretty much THE LIFE.
9. Beer. I was a beer drinker back home but I now have even more of a soft spot for the local Mahou. As I embarrassingly drunkenly said on Spanish tv one night when they interviewing people on the street: "¿Por qué te gusta España?" (Why do you like Spain?) "Porque me encanta la cerveza!!!" (Because I love beer!). Oh Sarah...
10. El Corte Ingles. The Spanish version of John Lewis. I shop in it´s supermarket all the time (expensive as it is) and I rummage through the make up isles painting my hands with lipsticks and eyeshadows until I decide I can´t afford any of them and disappointing the leering sales staff.
11. My apartment. My "lad pad" as my friends call it. Can get lonely but really, it´s awesome. I like living alone, I can eat when I want and walk around naked, I don´t have to clean up straight away and I can sing to myself and not annoy other people (even though my friend Liz always gets a full earful whenever I´m with her - I know she loves it really - my rendition of Rihanna´s "Take A Bow" is just beautiful....
12. How chilled the Spanish are. Sometimes annoying and unorganised but pretty good for those days when I´m late for work or clearly hungover and they just don´t care. 
13. Siestas. I never used to sleep during the day because I would never be able to sleep at night, but now, I can´t go a day without a little snooze (or a 4 hour one like on Monday). My mum always knows when is sleeping time for me so makes sure she avoids a phone call then, and my friends here know that if I don´t reply to a text almost straight away (being the phone addict I am) I am most probably sleeping. What is my life. Lazy ass ho.

DAY 90: La Vida

I haven't written in ages so memories are becoming pretty vague, what with my excessive drinking that my friends keep commenting on, so let's see what I can say....

Work is goooood and my Spanish is getting better and better, so I'm pretty chuffed. Thankfully, without sounding like too much of a bitch here, the new girl left. She was meant to stay here for a year but clearly just couldn't hack it like savvy Slaw can....Don't get me wrong, nice girl, but you know, I just couldn't help but be a bitch to her because she really was just irritating. She would do things wrong and them blame it on me or she would try and delegate her tasks to me etc..it was just like, babes, get a grip. Anyway, she left...wasn't enjoying it...so now it's just me and I have a lot more work to do now she's gone. It's quite good as it does keep me busy and I often stay until about 7pm doing stuff, but it can also just be a bit like eurghhhhhh and many fag breaks are taken. 

I'm obsessed with my boss, Mabel. She's soooo pretty and I think I just fancy her. I literally always try and dress fashionably so she thinks I look good because she is so "on trend" with everything. The others are all pretty great too. Sometimes annoying and sometimes soooo unorganised, like this morning I was woken up at 6am to be told to get into work early - thanks for the warning - wouldn't have stayed up watching the finale of Breaking Bad if I had known. To be fair though, at least I wasn't hungover... 

What pissed me off today though is this guy in the office. So he only arrived last Thursday and sat in the desk in front of me and I did not think anything of him. We spoke no words and I don't think I gave him a second glance. Then when I was packing up my stuff at 7pm he told me to wait and handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. Now being classic silly me, I just kind of giggled, which probably came across kind of rude thinking about it now, but hey, who cares - I'm the one being given the number :P. Anyway, I felt it was rude not to text him seeing as I would be seeing him at work today (we had Friday and Monday off). So I texted him and just said it was me and then he proceeded to ask me out on 2 dates over the weekend, both of which I declined - I hate dates with someone you don't know, so bloody awkward. So today he came into work and it was just so incredibly "uncomfortable". He kept staring at me so I pretended I was focussing on my work and then he kept texting me and I just pretended I hadn't seen my phone. No banter whatsover, not the kind of guy I am interested in. One of the texts was like "isn't it funny how no one here knows"...I'm like dude there's nothing here to know and actually they do know because I was taking the piss out of you with them earlier. So then he asked me out for drinks after work and again I declined and he responded with "that's ok, means I can go back to working out in the gym"...really? Did you really just say that? Gag.

I've been getting quite lonely recently in my wee apartment, the novelty of living alone is kind of wearing off. I come home and I have no one to talk to and so the amount of tv watched is becoming ridiculous. I'm considering just taking my dog back with me from Edinburgh after the Christmas holidays. I miss my wee cutie. 

And of course there have been a few drunken nights but I can't remember anything silly I've done....oh no wait, that's a lie. I poured a beer over a guys head the other night because he was insulting Scotland, which was fairly amusing. He then got me back by pouring his vodka over me and I got raging yelling "but I have hair unlike you!" Damn hair was so sticky the rest of the night. Need to learn. We also almost got robbed the other night but luckily my friend Michael was there to save the day as I claimed he was my husband. 

Just over a week now until I am back home and I CANNOT BLOODY WAIT. Can't quite believe I've done 3 months here now, time has flown by and I have absolutely loved it! I am so excited to go home though and see my family, my doggy and my friends, eat Mum's cooking and have my 21st birthday party (woop). Until then, I am munching on purely celery sticks as I'm very very worried that my outfit for my party isn't quite going to fit....yum.